You're in the army now
by Chiera
Summary: SAF-troops are military elites, trained by a harsh colonel Hidaka Sesshoumaru. By Senate's request a female is accepted to this training, which makes Sesshoumaru none too happy. Kagome isn't happy either as she runs into her ex in the special troops... AU
1. Are you dead yet

**Chie:** Just quickly pointing out one thing. This fic was inspired by the movie G.I. Jane. You'll probably notice the similarities.

Chapter one - Are you dead yet?

The heavy rain continued mercilessly to fall. The ground was slippery and cold. Her clothes were soaked all through. Her pale hands were planted firmly on the mud. She was wet and tired, her whole body was sore, every fibre in her being cried of exhaustion. But she could not stop. She was going on until she would drop. For she would drop before he'd let her stop.

He was standing by her side, tall, silent and stoic. His face was free of all expressions as he continued to watch the woman doing push-ups. He was a beautiful man, a dream come true, an angel fallen from the Heaven above...

'Well that's what he is, all right', the woman thought to herself rather sarcastically. ' A fallen angel, the Devil himself.'

Footsteps could be heard and they neared the duo standing in the rain. Soon a sight of two muddy boots appeared in front of her eyes which travelled up and down in the rhythm of push-ups she was doing.

"I believe that this is very well enough Colonel Hidaka", a gruff voice called.

Not sparing the just-arrived man a glance Colonel Hidaka started to walk away towards the group of buildings in the distance.

"You may stop, cadet Higurashi", his velvety voice flowed through the rain.

The said cadet stopped finally doing the push-ups, collapsing into a puddle of mud.

How had it all ever wound up like this?

* * *

"No way. No. You got to be kidding me, Sango!"

"Oh come on! It'll be great", the taller woman chirped.

"Nuh-uh! For you it might suit but me? No way. Just forget all about it."

Of course she did not forget. Nor did she give in. Sango was like that, persistent. She had not let the matter drop until I gave in.

For now when I think about it, it was a good thing. I totally needed a huge change in my life. I had just had a rather crappy divorce with a guy I really loved - until I found out about that bitch he had been fucking behind my back. I'm a forgiving person but there are some things that are just unforgivable. Breaking my heart is one of them.

Anyway, Sango succeeded in persuading me. We packed up our bags and headed off to enlist ourselves. Army, beware, here we come.

... Sounds rather pompous, ne? Well, it wasn't. I think I was more afraid of the army than it was of me. As I said to Sango, that kind of things suit well to her, but me...

Apparently, everything considered, I wasn't that bad. What a surprise. Little girly me. I hated to see even my friends argue... But the wicked smile that rose to my lips as I blasted the hell out of that poor target with the assault rifle I had been given, made even Sango pale. That kind of a display of aggressiveness is not really like me. But when the target before me turned into the face of the oh so beloved, cheating fucker I once called my husband.... That's a whole different story, my friend.

Captain Miyagi Ayame took a liking to me. Especially after the thing my troop started to call 'the Wolf incident'. You see, Captain Miyagi wasn't the only one to take a liking to me. Oh no. Sergeant Tanaka Koga fancied me too. A lot. It was rather uncomfortable. That perverted wolf... I'm getting ahead on this, am I?

Sergeant Tanaka was my troop leader. He was rough, completely unmannered and loud. He probably could have had shouted my ears off if he wished. But that is not the point now. The point is that one day after another shooting rehearsal he decided that he wasn't annoying me enough with just his hints of what time he was going to bed. If I could even call them hints! He actually once slipped me a key to his room. I'd say that's pretty damn obvious and not anymore a hint. It's an open invitation. Of course, I threw that key into litter bin. In any case, this time he shamelessly grabbed my butt. Others were still walking off ahead of me, but they quickly turned around when they heard a smacking sound. They saw me beating the crap out of my troop leader. Beating up your superior isn't the thing you'd be rewarded of in the army. But hey, I had a helluva good reason to do that. Actually because I beat up my troop leader, because of 'the Wolf incident' I ended up here. They needed a woman to participate the SAF-troop as an experiment of some kind. They told me that I had the spirit. They chose me.

* * *

"You can not be serious."

"Colonel Hidaka, I am very serious about this matter", Ayame replied stiffly.

"She would have no chance."

"She's the right one. She beat up Kouga."

"Kouga is a jackass. Our troop is the elite, Captain Miyagi. The training of the Special Attack Force is the hardest training one can go in the military. There is no way a woman could handle it, only best of the men make it."

"Colonel Hidaka, this is a request from the senate. SAF is the only division where has yet been no women."

"And there won't be."

"I assure you, Hidaka, private Higurashi is not like the rest. She has spirit. She's a fiery little one. If someone can manage, it's her."

Colonel Hidaka snorted.

"Give up, Captain Miyagi. There is no chance I would allow some woman to be part of my SAF-troop. Even if the whole damn senate would be begging on its knees."

"Very well, colonel Hidaka. Be it your way then." Captain Miyagi pulled a mobile phone out of her pocket.

Hidaka narrowed his eyes.

"What are you planning, captain?"

"I just thought to make one quick phone call."

He glared at her but Ayame was not going to give in.

"You might not feel any respect towards the senate, but I'm sure your father - "

"Fine! Send her in."

Colonel Hidaka stood up and left without another word. Ayame pocketed her mobile phone and smirked. 'Gotcha.'

'Private Higurashi, hmmh?' Hidaka thought to himself. 'You won't last a week. I'll take care of that.'

* * *

So I packed my bags and got into the plane. I had no idea what was waiting me on the training ground of the SAF-troops. I wish I just had.

He was waiting for me. He was the first person I saw when I got out of that plane. And I could just stare. He had to be the hottest guy I had ever seen. His silver hair and amber eyes kinda reminded me of my jackass ex-husband. He was tall and just drop-dead gorgeous. Had I only known then that he was going to make sure, personally, that my life from then on would be one living hell. He stared me down with his glare. His eyes were of warm colour but the look in them was so cold it gave me chills.

"Cadet Higurashi", he greeted me. His voice was velvety and soft. I was positive now that he could have turned me into a puddle of goo, just with his voice alone. Though now I have to say that a few days later I already hated that voice of his.

"Colonel Hidaka!" I saluted. Hidaka. That too. Same surname my ex shared. Coincidence? Had to be.

If I only had been that lucky.

"Kagome?!"

I knew that voice. I turned my gaze to see the man standing behind the ice prince. He was gawking at me, jaw dropped. My eyes narrowed into slits.

"You!" I shrieked, wrapping up my sleeve. My right hand was clenched into a tight fist and I had a strong intention to sink that fist into the middle of his sorry face. However, I was stopped.

"Cadet Higurashi, what the hell you think you're doing?"

It was the colonel, glaring at me.

"With all due respect, colonel Hidaka. If you can kindly excuse me or awhile", I bowed, showing my respect towards him. He was the kind of a guy you just _had_ to respect - even if you hated him. "But now I'd like to beat the hell out of that lousy excuse of a man!"

Colonel Hidaka raised his eyebrow. Captain Miyagi had been right. This one had the spirit.

"Kagome, I told you I already, I'm sorry.."

I heard a hint of plea in his voice. He wanted me to understand. He wanted me to forgive him.

I'd forgive him all right!

"'Sorry' doesn't fix the mistake, Inuyasha", I hissed. "'Sorry' doesn't make up all the nights I spent alone while you were screwing that fucking zombie-woman! 'Sorry' doesn't wash away all the pain I felt. Sorry's not worth a shit."

"Enough", the colonel bellowed, his velvety voice turning into a steel in an eye-blink. "I won't stand quarrelling in my troops. Is that understood?"

"Yes, colonel Hidaka", I replied in an unison with Inuyasha.

"Good", he said, glaring at me for awhile before turning to face Inuyasha. "Captain Hidaka, explain."

"Kagome is - _was_ my wife, colonel."

"Ah", he answered curtly. "I see it now."

My whole attention was turned at Inuyasha. I glared daggers at him, desperately hoping that I could kill a person with my stare alone.

"Cadet Higurashi!"

"Yes, Colonel Hidaka?"

"One punch, that's all."

"Sir yes sir!"

I swear I could see amusement flickering in those cold amber eyes as my fist made close friends with Inuyasha's nose. At that short moment I liked my new trainer very much and life was good.

Well that was then. My only comfort is that I broke that bastard's nose.

* * *

"Kagome, are you all right? Let me help you up."

I was lying still in the puddle of mud. All the push ups had made my body sore and exhausted. But I'd rather die than accept the hand he was offering to me. I'd rather die than accept his help.

Grimacing and ignoring the pain, ignoring the resistance and reluctance of my body I forced myself up. I stood there, my arms fallen limp on my sides, my back bent and my eyes closed. The rain continued to fall, washing the mud away from my pale skin.

"Kagome."

I opened my eyes and stared into his for awhile. Then I spat at his feet.

"Inuyasha, I don't need your help. You know, you're only being nice to me because you regret what you did. Your remorse is wasted. What is done is done and there's no way to change it anymore. You cheated on me. You broke my heart. Regret is not going to fix up anything. It's useless."

"Kagome.."

"Leave me alone!" I yelled at him, brushing past him towards the buildings. "Just seeing you makes me sick. Stay away from me!"

I started to walk towards the main building, leaving him to stare helplessly after me. I was glad it was raining. For all the raindrops sliding down my face, no one could see how my tears mingled with them. I hated him for what he had done. I despised him with all my might. I truly was disgusted every time I saw him.

And yet... I still loved him.


	2. I hate you too

**Chapter two – I hate you too **

All in all, it wasn't that bad though. I have to mention that I managed to make friends too. You know the silver lining-thing. Seeing Inuyasha 24/7 and being the object of colonel Hidaka's hate was the big bad dark cloud, but the few friends I managed to get were that silver-lining. Even though every bond did not start with good terms...

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!"

He just shot me with that dazzling grin of his.

"I'm getting to know you, sweetie", he answered innocently, squeezing my butt for the second time.

Vein pop.

I turned around, punching him with all of my might. That taught him a lesson all right!

"Cadet Higurashi, what did I tell you about quarrelling with the others", colonel Hidaka's bored, cold voice drawled into my ears.

Oh shit. Just what I needed.

"That fucking pervert grabbed my butt, sir."

He raised his eyebrow.

"Cadet, what did I tell you about the quarrelling", he asked again in a little harder tone, ignoring my comment completely.

"No quarrelling", I bit out between my clenched teeth.

"That's right", he said smoothly. "Now you run 10 extra laps and then go to the kitchen to help peeling the potatoes as the other cadets spend the treasured spare time they have."

I glared at him, trying my best not to tell him what exactly I thought of him and this whole damn training.

"Is there a problem, cadet Higurashi?"

"No, colonel Hidaka, sir!"

"Then, why aren't you running already?"

Boiling inside I saluted him, and ran off.

"Cadet Kouda", colonel Hidaka said to the pervert lying on the ground rubbing his temple, watching my retreating form with a grin.

"Yes, colonel?"

"If I find out that you touch her one more time, I'll make personally sure that that wandering hand of yours shall be removed. Do I make myself clear?"

"Sir, yes, sir", Miroku said now looking straight at the icy colonel, getting quickly up from the ground. He seemed to be a bit paler than before.

"Good", Hidaka said, then raised his voice. "Now everyone will run sixty laps before you will have your pathetic little break - the faster you run the laps, the longer break you'll have. Save for Higurashi, who'll run extra ten laps and have no break at all. Dismissed."

"SIR, YES, SIR", all the cadets bellowed and soon joined me at the track.

* * *

'Bastard', I thought bitterly as I glanced colonel Hidaka's retreating form from the corner of my eye.

'Jackasses..' I muttered in my thoughts as I was on my way to the kitchen-building. Inuyasha had run next to me for the whole time, trying to make up a conversation. But actually there was a person I disliked more than him at the moment.

Colonel Hidaka. Peeling potatoes wasn't so hard punishment, I admit. The only thing about it is that it's the dullest job one could get. But when you were supposed to be peeling the potatoes during your break... Breaks weren't that frequent around here. I would have wanted to use mine resting, especially when my feet were sore from running. I had ran as fast as I could, trying my best to shake off Inuyasha. Well, of course I knew it was impossible for me to outrun him. Still, it was worth trying...

But now, I would not be resting my poor little feet. I didn't even blame the pervert – much. I blamed the most of it on the colonel. He had to be a sick sadist or something. I didn't know what I had done to earn the overwhelming weight of his wrath but I think I don't even want to know. In my mind I decided to loathe him back and well, just try to survive this hell.

Kami, why hadn't I come up with any normal way to get over with Inuyasha and the divorce?

They were so right, life was a bitch.

"Cadet Higurashi?"

With a start I awoke from my musings, to see black-haired, brown-eyed young man, wearing a pink apron with a white heart-print.

"Yes?"

"I'm Hojo, the cook. Hidaka-sama came earlier to tell me about your penalty."

"Great."

"This way, please."

As I followed the cook into the kitchen I couldn't help a mental image coming into my mind. A puppy. This cook Hojo was a puppy kind of a guy. Rather cute, but so not my type.

"Here you go", Hojo smiled, giving me a knife.

"There's the potatoes. Put the peeled ones into that kettle."

I started my work. It wasn't that bad, once I imagined the potato to be either Inuyasha or colonel Hidaka. I hoped that my little voodoo would work and that the colonel would loose at least a bit off that perfect pale skin of his. The thing that bothered me was the cook. Poor Hojo-guy seemed to have a hard time trying to keep his eyes off me. Had he never seen a woman before, or what? Well, of course he had, but I had to be quite a sight too.

My raven hair was on a long thick braid. I hated to keep my hair tied, but it was either that or no hair at all. And I was so not giving up my precious hair. I was wearing the same training outfit as every cadet, a white tank top and black pants. The usual outfit had to look a bit different on me though. The tank top fit perfectly, but the pants were a bit baggy. There wasn't quite my size available.

"Would you mind", I snapped when I grew tired of him gawking at me. Here I was just another cadet and I seriously hoped he gawked at me just because I was a woman. Because, well, if he'd gawk every cadet with the same devotion... He _did_ have a pink apron, you know!

"Sorry", he averted his gaze quickly and I saw a blush stain his cheeks.

"No, I'm sorry", I apologized. "I didn't mean to be so rude; your staring just made me nervous."

"No, I didn't mean to be so rude and just stare like that.. I hope you can understand, being stuck here.. You're new, right?"

"Yeah, I came here yesterday", I replied.

"I must be hard of you to be here, the only woman..."

"I try my best to survive", I said dryly. "Is there any other woman around?"

"Well, there's the Hidaka's girl, she's the head of the medical squad."

Wow, hold on. _Hidaka's_ girl? That stuck-up, sadistic colonel who seemed to have some serious issues actually had a girlfriend? So miracles do happen.

I then decided to take a look at her as soon as I had the chance.

"Ahh, I see. How did you end up here anyway?"

"Me?" Hojo asked, puzzled.

"Yeah. You don't seem to be the kinda guy who would volunteer to cook for big bad special troopers."

He chuckled.

"Well, I just... Found myself from here. I did dream about having my own restaurant but well.. Dreams don't just always come true.

"Tell me about it", I sighed.

I had dreamed about having a husband and three kids. Now, the kids had been lacking but I had already had the husband-part. Now I had nothing. I had been slightly tomboyish when I was little but now it had got on a whole different level. On such a level that it was already too much. I doubted that anyone would find me attractive once they had learned that I had gone through the SAF-troop's training. I would practically be on a higher military rank hence I had gone through the hardest special troop training that was possible. If that didn't get on a man's ego, I didn't know what would. Yay. I was doomed to be single and then slowly grow into an old bitter spinster.

Unless...

Unless, I'd get myself a guy from here, the SAF-troops. Let's see. There was this sweet cook. No, too much of a little puppy and goodie goodie guy. Then there was my ex-husband, the jackass who had cheated on me for Kami knew how long. Hell no. Then, there was this one pervert whose name I didn't even know but who already had squeezed my bottom. Twice. Never happen. Then, there was the drop-dead gorgeous colonel with a tiny personality problem. Sure he was a sweet guy, he just happened to hate everyone and everything, especially me. Depressing. Oh, and he apparently already had a girlfriend.

'Gotta check the medical squad', I reminded myself.

"Kagome..."

I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut. No. everything but him.

"What do you want, Inuyasha?"

"Sesshoumaru told me to come to inform you that the martial arts practise starts in five minutes. You better be on time."

"Fine." I put down my knife and there the last potato into the kettle.

"Thank you for putting up with me, Hojo-kun", I said to the cook, flashing him a smile. Then I walked out of the kitchen, ignoring Inuyasha completely.

* * *

Sesshoumaru wasn't there yet, so I stood where the other cadets were. Inuyasha followed my trail from the kitchen. Since I didn't feel like talking to him I tried my best to look busy as I adjusted my long raven black braid.

"Higurashi?"

I turned my head to the side and saw a young red-headed man.

"Yes", I replied, frowning. The only guys this far who had tried to make a contact with me were Inuyasha and that pervert.

"I'm Yamamura Shippo. I'm a good friend of Miroku's and I'm terribly sorry of what he did to you this morning."

"Miroku? Ahh.. You mean that perverted guy."

He flashed me a smile.

"Exactly. Don't take it personally, he does that to every girl he sees. At least he didn't ask you to bear his child."

"He does that too?"

"Unfortunately."

I shook my head, having a hard time believing my ears.

"Attention!"

It took less than a second for us cadets to form a neat row and salute colonel Hidaka.

He nodded curtly in approval.

"At ease."

We clasped our hands behind our backs and moved our feet shoulder-length apart.

"Now you have been here for three days, cadets. It's time to stop playing around."

So we had been playing around until now? Oh Kami. Besides, I had arrived later than the others; this day was my first actual day here. That's it. I was screwed.

"We will now start training the martial arts. And, before one of you idiots has time to ask why, I will remind you that we are the Special Attack Force. We are expected to know how to defend ourselves and how to attack even if we had no weapons at all. I will show you how the moves are done and you will repeat them. But now, I'll divide you into pairs."

I stood quietly in my place, watching as everyone else got paired up.

Finally he called my name.

"Higurashi, you'll pair up with me."

_Why me_?

I clenched my teeth and walked up to him.

"We will start with the basics. Higurashi, punch me."

'With pleasure', I thought, and sent my fist flying to his direction. He brushed it off with ease.

"And this is how you block a strike. Now, you try."

He turned to look at me. All the cold blaze of those amber eyes was on me, but I willed myself not to flinch. I glared back at him.

'This one's interesting', Sesshoumaru thought to himself, watching the deep blue eyes before him.

Then, without any warning he punched me. I know I was supposed to block it… But sheesh he could've warned me at least a bit in advance! I took the hit fully, it send me crashing the dirt.

"You didn't even try. That was pathetic, Higurashi", he said in a mocking tone.

I damn well knew that it had been pathetic to take the hit like that, not being able to block it at all. I did not need him to tell me how bad I was. My day had been quite bad to begin with, now, thanks to my dear colonel, it turned to worse.

"Up, cadet", he commanded.

I got up, brushing the dirt off from my clothes.

"Such a pretty girl", he mocked me.

I was very close to spit right at his feet as to express my thoughts of him – but I knew that would only have got me into deeper trouble.

"For your information, Higurashi, you were supposed to block the punch, not take a hit."

"I know that, colonel, sir!"

"Then why didn't you block it, cadet?"

"I.. I wasn't prepared, sir."

"In a war your enemy will not pause to ask whether or not you are prepared, cadet Higurashi! Thirty push ups, now! Then we will try again."

My fingernails dug into the soft skin of my palm. I tasted the warm, coppery flavour of blood in my mouth. I threw myself onto the ground and then started to do the push ups. From the corner of my eye I saw his self-satisfied, arrogant smirk. That sight made me even angrier. The sudden flare of fury was rather uncharacteristic for her, but there was something in the demonic colonel that made her blood boil.

"Twenty-seven", the colonel counted, "twenty-eight…twenty-nine... twenty-nine… twenty-nine… twenty-nine…twenty-nine…thirty. Get up, cadet."

I got up, sweating and inwardly swearing. Swearing wasn't either a habit of mine, but you heard it quite a lot here in the army, and hey, I _had_ been married to Inuyasha. I suppose that I had picked it up at some point.

Colonel Hidaka was looking down at me, the same self-aware, arrogant smirk on his lips.

His hand was a blur as it rushed forward in a punch aimed at my way. I brushed it aside with my hand.

"Still pathetic, Higurashi, but at least you tried this time. Fifteen push ups."

"Sir yes sir…!"

"…Thirteen… thirteen… fourteen… fourteen…fourteen…fourteen… fifteen. Get up. Now it's your time to try to punch me … You call that a punch, Higurashi? That was pathetic. Fifteen push ups."

Sixty push ups later a guard clad in black came to have a word with the colonel. I was down on the ground, doing wearily the push ups. I didn't know what bad I had done, but I knew that something I had done had ticked the colonel off, because clearly he was at me, all the time. None of the other cadets were any better than me, but I didn't see them doing push ups. I then came into a conclusion: It was because of my gender. I was a woman, and he did not want to see a woman in his troops. That was why he was harder on me than on everyone else; he could not tell me to fuck off because of the senate. That was why he was doing his best to make me quit.

'I'll play your game then', I muttered in my own thoughts. 'You'll see that it requires a whole lot more than just petty push ups to make me quit. I'll show you…'

"Colonel Hidaka sir, there are some guests that just arrived on the plane and –"

I listened the guard's rambling on half an ear. I saw Hidaka frown. He didn't seem too pleased.

Sesshoumaru's attention snapped out of the displeasing news as a shrill shriek came from straight below.

I lied on the ground and my eyes were tightly squeezed shut as I panted.

"Cadet Higurashi, everything all right?"

"I'm fine", I replied stiffly. A grimace on my face I braced myself onto my hands. I hovered there for a while, until, with a wince my left hand failed me and I fell onto the ground. Colonel Hidaka immediately crouched down next to me, pulling me gently into a sitting position.

"Give me that" he pulled my left hand into his own and examined it closely.

I tried my best to fight a blush. Even though my mind kept telling me that he was an ass, my body was rather startled at the sudden close contact and kept telling me that he might be an ass, but he sure was a damn hot one.

"How long has your wrist been sprained, cadet Higurashi", he asked sharply.

"Sometime", I replied. "I suppose I sprained it at some point while peeling the damn potatoes."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"It was of no importance, colonel Hidaka. There's no use to complain about such a petty sprain."

"Go to see the medical squad, Higurashi. Now."

"Sir yes sir!" I saluted and got up.

As I walked toward the building in the distance, a smile arose to my lips. Medical squad… Finally I would see the Hidaka's girl Hojo had told me about!

* * *

When I looked straight into the brown eyes of the woman who was smiling at me rather mockingly, I was ready to give everything I possessed, just to get something long and not too sharp so that it would hurt more when I'd force it to sink deep into her dead-like flesh…

"Kagome", she greeted me. Her tone was at least as mocking as her annoying smile.

"Kikyo", I spat out.

How much could things go wrong? Wasn't it enough that I had to endure a colonel from Hell and seeing my traitorous ex-husband, was I really forced to stand to see that zombie-looking bitch that Inuyasha had been fucking behind my back…!

"So, what brings you here?"

"The fate which seems to have a very twisted sense of humour."

"Ahh… You must be the guinea pig of the senate. What a coincidence. It must not feel very fair to you… You must feel kind of…_used_."

"At the moment I only feel bloodlust."

"Oh, sweet! Are you playing a vampire, eh?"

"Fuck off, Kikyo. I didn't come here to be mocked by you; neither did I come for the questionable pleasure of seeing your ugly face."

"Then why the hell are you here?"

"Because unfortunately for me, you happen to be the head of the medical squad. And I happen to have a sprained wrist. Do I have to make myself clearer so that even you could understand?"

"Shut up, wench, and sit down."

After another nerve-wrecking fifteen minutes I marched out from the medic-building muttering a rather formidable variety of curses, my left wrist wrapped tightly in bandages.

Only one question was on my mind.

WHAT THE HELL DID THAT COW DO HERE!

"Higurashi?"

"What!" I snapped, not even bothering to look who had spoken to me.

"Hey, take it easy now, no offence…"

I turned my head. It was the red-headed young man, the pervert's buddy.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you that hard", I apologized, rubbing my temple. "I'm just having a rough time now."

"I figured. Actually, I came to ask you whether you're quite ok. You did a lot of push ups over there."

"Well, the colonel doesn't want to see me here. He's tying to make me quit. Like a few push ups would scare me."

"I know.. You must be pretty mad at him, aren't you?"

"Hmmh? Oh no, the colonel's cool… now. I think he didn't intend to hurt me and therefore will leave me alone for a short while at least. At the moment I'd want to kill the doctor bitch though."

"The doctor bitch?"

"Kikyo. She's the head of the medical squad."

"Ohh… Inuyasha's girl. I've heard about her."

"Inuyasha's girl indeed", I said, clenching my teeth.

"Uhh.. Did I miss something, or…?"

"I was married to Inuyasha for two years. That was, of course, until I found out that he had cheated on me with that fucking cow for the whole friggin' time!"

Shippo blinked.

"Well that explains – a lot."

"I'd just like to point out, that I'd never cheat on such a beauti –"

PUNCH.

"Ouch, what was that for, Shippo?" The black-haired man said, rubbing his head.

"Miroku, do try behave. Higurashi's having a hard time right now."

"Uh, thanks guys for your concern, but I'd better hurry back before the colonel eats me alive or something…"

"Not to worry, sweetheart", the pervert said flashing his dazzling grin. "Hidaka's busy now; he won't be eating anyone at the moment."

I turned my head and saw him. He was standing away from the cadets, talking in a low tone with a tall, black-haired woman.

"Who's she", I wondered out loud.

"That's Kagura, Sesshoumaru's ex-wife. Though I can't understand why in the hell that bitch is here."

I closed my eyes for a short moment, bracing myself up for the confrontation.

"I didn't ask anything from _you_. Besides, Kagura being here doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that wench who's playing the doctor here!"

Inuyasha paled and it seemed that he felt a bit uneasy under the furious glare of Kagome.

"Kikyo's been here for five years already… It wasn't because of her that I came here."

"Yeah right. You were never that good at lying to begin with", I hissed and stomped away.

"Kagome…" he took a few involuntary steps after me, but Miroku's arm stopped him.

"Leave her alone. You've hurt her enough. You don't need to explain anymore."

* * *

Sesshoumaru glared coldly at the woman standing before him.

"Why are you here, Kagura? Interrupting my work. I have to turn those lousy cadets into the elite soldiers, and that task is difficult enough without you here messing up everything."

"Don't be so unkind, Sesshou-dear. I bring you good news."

"I doubt that any news coming from you would be good ones", he muttered coldly.

"Oh, but these are. The court made its decision, finally."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jaken", she called sharply.

Soon a short man, most likely a servant, arrived, tightly holding a hand of a young black-haired girl, who was smiling brightly and chatting lightly with the servant who had a suffering expression on his toad-like face.

"Kagura, why did you bring Rin here?"

"Because she's the good news. The court made its decision. It commanded Rin's custody to you. You're her guardian now."

I was sitting on the dusty ground, holding my bandaged wrist in my lap. I saw the young girl there, briefly wondering why she had been brought to this kind of a place. Then I heard her delighted squeal.

"Daddy", the little girl yelled, snatching her hand free from the servants grip and taking a sprint. The colonel had kneeled down and wound his hands around the girl who threw herself into his arms. He got up, holding the child protectively in his arms.

Seeing him like that, holding the child so gently, only added to the suspicions that had started to dwell in my mind when he had showed concern to my injury. No matter how tough, emotionless side colonel showed to the world, he still was a human, like we all. Underneath that thick barrier of ice, even he had a heart.


	3. The babysitter

**Chie: **Just pointing out that everyone is a completely human here. I've hinted that, yes, but I just wanted to tell you so you surely know it. I kinda wanted Sesshy-boy to be a demon, but, I figured it was a LOT cuter if Rin would be his real daughter and not just adopted... yeah. On with the story now.

**Chapter three – The babysitter**

I shivered again and mumbled a few curses. I held my assault rifle close by. One thing I would never tell to my fellow cadets, though, Inuyasha already was aware of it: I had never liked dark too much. It makes me all jumpy. Everything looked scarier in the dark. Inuyasha knew this old fear of mine very well. We _had_ been married. But he was the only one here who knew. And he didn't want to leave me alone. Miroku and Shippo were my two new friends here, along with the cook, Hojo. Miroku and Shippo seemed to understand how I felt, and tried their best to keep Inuyasha away from me. I didn't even know what he wanted from me anymore. He should be happy now. Kikyo was here and all.

The most curios thing was that at this very moment, I actually liked colonel Hidaka. Even though he had commanded me to guard the grounds this night, all because of a petty mistake. Colonel Hidaka was the mystery I had been trying to solve, ever since Rin had come into the training grounds.

I patrolled on the grounds, shivering and clutching my assault rifle closer again. I grew tired of thinking Hidaka and thus once again remembered that I was standing alone in the dark. Just why dark had to be so… dark? A shudder ran down my spine as my feet scraped on the sand.

'There's no one there', I told myself. 'No one, there's no one there, no one, no one…'

Even though I tried very hard, I still couldn't quite convince myself.

And then, from the dark, a large pale hand landed on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly. I shrieked and dropped my rifle and nearly strained my back as I turned around. My heart was pounding so fast that I was afraid it would burst right through from my ribcage. I was prepared to see a demon, a vampire, a monster, a skeleton, Inuyasha or some other horrible creature that would eat me alive. I told you that darkness makes me all jumpy. Of course, the owner of the hand was no one from the list above. I relaxed immediately as I realized it was him. Funny thing, with him there, it felt kind of safe. I then had to remind myself – several times – that I hated him.

"Cadet Higurashi, is everything all right", colonel Hidaka asked, his eyebrow raised.

"Uhh, yeah. Everything's under control, sir", I replied, bending down to pick up my assault rifle.

"I've been watching you for some time now, cadet. Are you cold?"

"No, I'm not, sir. Why so, if I may ask?"

"You were shivering the whole time."

"Uhh… That."

"And what was the point with the screaming?"

I lowered my head and my cheeks burned with embarrassment. How could I ever say to him that I had mistaken him for a zombie?

"Well, cadet? I'm waiting for your answer."

"WellI'mafraidofthedarkandthoughtthatherewouldbeInuyashaorsomeotherevilmonsterofsomekindlurkinginthedrakwantingtoeatmeorsomething", I mumbled quickly.

"Come again, Higurashi. And a little slower this time."

_Why me?_

"I mistook you for Inuyasha or some other evil monster lurking in the dark, sir", I managed to explain. If one could die of embarrassment, I'd be dead by now.

He was kind enough not to laugh.

No, wait a second; we're talking about colonel Hidaka. He probably can't even laugh.

"Higurashi…"

"Yes, colonel Hidaka?"

"When I commanded you on the night patrol, why didn't you tell me that you were afraid of the dark?"

I flinched.

"How could I have, sir? They would have laughed me out. They're already looking down on me to begin with."

Okay, that sounded much bitterer than I had intended to. I lowered my gaze again.

"Go to bed, Higurashi."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Do it, now!"

"Sir yes sir!" I saluted smartly and turned towards the sleeping quarters.

As I was walking away I mused how nice and kind the colonel was. But then I heard him muttering to himself.

"We shouldn't expect too much from Higurashi… After all, she's just a woman."

That... that… Chauvinist pig! I was a woman, yes. I was shorter than everyone else here, I was probably weaker too. But those facts aside, I would prove to everyone that I was just as good. I'd prove it, especially to him.

* * *

"She thinks I'm here just because of you", he told, idly combing her hair with his hand.

"She has always been a fool. I don't know why you married my cousin in the first place."

Inuyasha flinched.

It had not always been like this between Kagome and Kikyo. They had been very close, nearly like sisters. Then they reached the age of fifteen. Then they had met Inuyasha. They both were hit by a huge crush. And in the end, Kagome had won. Inuyasha had agreed to be her boyfriend and three years later he had proposed. Kikyo couldn't take it. From that moment on, she hated Kagome. Hated her for getting the one _she _wanted. It was unforgivable. And she was not going to forgive.

In the other hand, Kagome had never hated Kikyo that much. She despised her, maybe pitied her, but never hated her. Her hate had concentrated on Inuyasha. In the end, he had been responsible. No matter how hard Kikyo had tried to seduce him, he had had the power to refuse. But he hadn't.

"I still can't understand why my father insisted I come into these SAF-troops. He knows that Sesshoumaru is the high mighty trainer and that he loathes me. So why..."

"Maybe you lacked discipline", Kikyo suggested dryly.

"Keh", Inuyasha huffed.

"Or then he wishes for you to mature, you know, Inuyasha... You're still just a brat."

"Kikyo! How can you say that to _me_?"

"Because, darling, it's the truth, want it or not."

The head of the medical squad closed their distance and pressed a gentle kiss on the cadet's lips.

"You ought to go now", she advised. "You have an early awakening. Besides, if anyone catches us here, we both might get kicked out.

"Tomorrow night?"

"All right. But now go, Inuyasha."

She watched as her lover disappeared into the night.

* * *

"Five more minutes", I mumbled incoherently.

Shippo shook his head and watched how a tiny stream of drool travelled down to blotch my pillow.

"Kagome... get up now, if you'll be late..." Shippo shook me gently.

I murmured something incoherent and turned my back on him.

"Kagome, really... if your late, colonel – "

"Let me handle this", a gruff voice interrupted.

Shippo turned his head to see Inuyasha.

"Why do you insist on being close to her? Can't you see it's hurting her", Shippo hissed.

"Shut up, brat. You've only known her for a day. I know how to wake her up, do you?"

Shippo stared at him for awhile, and then huffed.

"Fine. But you may only wake her."

Inuyasha walked around the narrow bed until he was facing me. He extended two fingers, and tapped my forehead.

My eyes shot open in an instant.

"Oh Kami, did I miss the awakening! I'm so dead!"

Shippo blinked. Inuyasha stepped away from me, unnoticed.

"Ehh? What is it, Shippo", I asked when I noticed him.

"No-Nothing", he replied.

Inuyasha quietly stalked away, still unnoticed.

I slid out under my blanket. I tried my best not to think about the fact that I needed to change on the training clothes in a room full of males. Ugh.

My cheeks were flushed as I rummaged the tiny cupboard where I was allowed to keep the little I had here with me.

'Be natural. As if you weren't in a room full of men watching you, wearing only a black tank top and underpants..'

Shippo had turned his face away from my half dressed form. His cheeks were tinged with rosy pink.

I found my outfit and immediately pulled the black trousers on. I grimaced.

'I still have a bra on', I reminded myself. 'Just change the damn clothes before you're late. If you're late, colonel Hidaka will... Well, I don't even want to know what he will do.'

I changed my black tank top into that white one, as fast as I just could.

I tied my hair on a tight braid, gathered the braid and tied it in a bun and checked the bandages on my left wrist. My hand was already better, but it still ached. I wouldn't be able to do too many push ups today.

* * *

"Sixty laps, everyone! Then get back here."

'And that demon calls this as a warm up? I'm... so... dead...'

"How's your wrist, Kagome?"

"It's fine... Thanks for asking, Shippo."

"And the night patrol? I hope it wasn't too boring", Miroku smirked.

"It was far from boring", I mumbled, trying my best not to blush.

"Oh, why so?"

"I'm..." I swallowed. I couldn't say it!

"You're what", Shippo asked, frowning.

"Okay, so I'm afraid of the dark, damnit", I snapped.

"You are?"

For my surprise, the guys did not laugh. They just smiled and seemed to understand.

'Aww.. Now, if that's not sweet, then I – '

"If you have time to chit-chat", colonel Hidaka's cold loud remark echoed through the whole running track, "you're clearly not running fast enough. MOVE IT!"

I bit my lip.

Shippo took one glance at my eyes and paled.

I gathered up all my strength and sped up. I would show that arrogant – !

* * *

"You surely are foolish, Higurashi", colonel Hidaka said, shaking his head. "How am I ever going to make a soldier out of you? You're just pathetic. If that wolf bitch wouldn't have threatened me into this, I would not have to watch your ugly face."

My short fingernails dug into the skin of my palm.

'Don't let your anger show. That's what he wants.. .'

"I did say that you weren't running fast enough", the colonel admitted, "but a thing called 'common sense' is what most of people – you obviously excluded – possess. If you run _that_ fast during a warm up, how are you going to have energy left to do the actual training?"

Okay, so I had screwed up. Again. But just why did he _have to _rub it in my face?

"But due to your injured wrist I doubt you could participate in the training anyway. It would be too... hard... for you."

I tasted blood in my mouth as my tooth pierced the skin in my lip. That bastard...

"I can still hold a gun, colonel."

"Cadet Higurashi, I wouldn't let you near a gun even if my life depended on it. Not as the pathetic self you are now."

Just why he had to be so cold? His words pierced through my heart, their malice staining me from within. I knew I shouldn't have let his words influence on me that much. Just somehow they managed to snake through the fragile wall around my heart.

Yes, there was a wall around my heart. It wasn't very strong, but that was because it had not been there for so long. I had always been sweet and caring. Wanting to be everybody's friend, and so I was. I may have been naïve, yes. Something Sango had said a long time ago described it very well: "There's something about you Kagome, in your nature, in your heart. You care for everyone, that's why everyone cares for you. They all adore you; they all want to protect you. Though from what, I don't know, for no one would dare to hurt you."

No one. Save for… _him_.

After that I had changed. A wall began to build itself around the broken remains of my heart. I did not want it to happen again. I began to hate him, I became more aggressive. My hate tainted me. I was so tough now, like that incident with Kouga. Before, I had never kicked his ass, just told him firmly no.

But now, I was tougher.

I talked back and arrogantly held the gun in my hand. I was not letting anyone to hurt be me again.

For it pained me. It hurt so much.

It's curious, how shallow human mind is. How no one saw through me. They all just saw how I had gotten stronger.

They didn't see how weak I had become. No matter how tough I acted, how foul language I used, how I well I blasted the hell out of my target with the assault rifle...

In the inside I was crying. All the time.

And then with a start I broke from my spaced out state. The colonel was watching me intently, his amber eyes narrowed into slits. I met his gaze steadily. I did not avert my gaze even though his eyes made me shudder. They were so intent, so piercing. As if he would see right through me.

I did not want that.

I did not want to be seen through... I had hid my pain so well... That's why I hadn't told even to Sango. I didn't want to make others worry. I did not want to get them involved...

The pain I felt was mine alone.

Why did the colonel seem to be reading me? Why could his eyes pierce through me like that? Before his gaze I felt the hurt, weak, scared girl I still was inside.

Yet I did not avert my eyes.

Then they changed, the weird look in their golden eyes fading, the odd naked feeling I had gain vanished. I let out an involuntary gasp. The sun heated my skin. A second ago I had been freezing.

"I have a special task for you, Higurashi", his smooth voice indicated.

It felt alien to hear him speak, after that sudden piercing gaze.

"Until your wrist heals and you are able to go on with your training, you will watch after Rin. But remember, you have a lot to catch up to after you are healed again. I expect you to work hard."

He turned his back to me and walked away.

Just what had that been…?

"Hurry up, Higurashi. I am not injured and that's why I still have to work."

I startled and raised my gaze from the ground, to see that the colonel had stopped yards away from me.

"Yes, colonel Hidaka", I replied automatically, and followed him.

* * *

"Rin."

"Ehhh..?" The girl raised her head from her meal.

"DADDY", she squealed excitedly and ran over to him, to hug his leg.

"Let go, Rin. I'm busy right now and I gotta get back to work."

"Oh", the girl sounded a bit disappointed.

"Besides, you do not run off like that when you're in the middle of dining."  
"Okay."

"Rin, here's cadet Higurashi. She will look after you for awhile."

"Oooooh?" The girl's eyes brightened as she turned to look at me.

"Uh... hi?"

"Hello!" she replied cheerily and latched herself onto me leg instead of colonel's.

"Rin's name's Rin! What is your name, Lady Cadet?"

This kid… SO CUTE!

"My name's Kagome. Nice to meet you, Rin."

My heart melted then and there, in front of the sparkling white of her wide bright grin.

"Rin…"

"Yes daddy?"

"Finish your meal."  
"Okay!"

She let go of my leg and padded back to the chair she had been sitting in.

"I will now go back to work. Be good."

"I will, daddy."

With a brief amber glance aimed in my way, he left.

I studied the child who was quietly eating her food. Inside, my mind was in a turmoil. What was he up to? The look of his from earlier had really crept me out and somehow I now felt... powerless before him, even more than earlier. Something had changed after that moment, but I couldn't point my finger at it.

And what was up with this baby-sitting job?

Why me? I thought he hated me. That he despised me. Then why... Why did he suddenly, just like that, entrust his daughter into my care?

'I really don't get that guy', I muttered to myself dryly.

"Kagome-sama, you don't have to stand there. Sit down here", the kid called, patting the chair next to her. "You can draw with me. You can borrow my crayons."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Okay."

I walked over her. She had put her emptied plate aside and had taken out two sheets of pure white paper and a set of crayons.

She began enthusiastically to fill the paper with drawings of colourful flowers. I smiled to myself again. This child… she reminded me of myself, when I was younger. So carefree, friendly and cheery...

"Do you like to draw, Rin?"

"Yeah! I like to pick up flowers more, though. There's a field I go to pick flowers near home... There's no flowers here, are there?"

"No... There aren't any flowers here."

"I thought so", she simply replied. Then she smiled at me. "That's why I'm drawing them. I wanted to bring here some flowers as well."

"That's a sweet thought", I commented.

"Do you like to draw?"

"Not that much. I'm not so good at it."

"It doesn't matter", the girl replied. "I can draw for you too."

"As you wish", I replied.

After the once clean paper was full of every kind of flowers, the girl put down her pencils and turned her head to look at me.

"Let's do something else now!"

I smiled and nodded.

* * *

Eight eventful hours later, I was sitting on an armchair. Rin was sitting in my lap, leaning against my chest. Her eyes were half-closed.

"…and they lived happily ever after. The end." I closed the book and set it on the side table.

"Do you live with your father too, Kagome-sama", the girl suddenly asked.

"No... I live on my own now. I used to live with my mom, little brother and grandfather though."

"Ohh... Did your mom and dad stop talking to each other too?"

"No. My father died when I was young."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear."

"It's all right."

"So you have a little brother... how old is he?"

"He's fourteen now."

"Guess what, Kagome-sama?"

"What?"

"I've always wanted a big sister", the girl confessed.

I smiled.

"I've always wanted a little sister."

"Want to be my big sister, Kagome-sama?"

I gazed into her half-open chocolate brown eyes.

"Sure. I'd be honoured, Rin-chan."

"Great! It's decided then…"

The silence fell, wrapping itself around us as a warm, comfortable blanket. I listened as Rin's breathing slowly began to even.

"Onee-chan?"

"Yes, little one?"

"You shouldn't be so sad", the girl said sincerely.

* * *

Sesshoumaru stopped his hand on the door knob.

"What do you mean", he heard the woman ask, trying to hide her surprise.

"Your eyes are sad, onee-chan. Why is that?"

"Some time ago… Someone hurt me."

"Once Rin fell out of a tree and hurt Rin's arm. They said it was broken."

"Not like that, Rin-chan. I was hurt on the inside."

"You should say to the one who hurts you that he's mean."

"I have already said that."

"Then why are you still sad?"

The woman did not answer.

"Onee-chan..."

"Yes, Rin-chan?"

"You should tell someone."

"Huh?"

"You should tell someone that you're sad. Why do you try to hide it? It doesn't go away even if you do."

Sesshoumaru's grip of the door knob tightened.

"No one… No one's meant to be alone", the child said gravely.

He heard a strangled sob.

Sesshoumaru opened the door, stepping into the room. He stopped before the sight he saw. His daughter was sitting in the cadet's lap, nearly half-asleep. The cadet was embracing her, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

"Rin."

* * *

I startled and saw colonel Hidaka standing the doorway. Hastily I wiped the tear from my cheek, hoping that he hadn't seen me cry. He already thought I was weak.

"It's time for you to go to bed."

He walked over to us and scooped the girl from my lap into his own arms.

"Okay", Rin agreed sleepily.

I stood up, starting to head to the door.

"Onee-chan."

"Yes", I asked, turning to glance at the child over my shoulder.

"Come again tomorrow. We'll play together."

I smiled at her.

"I'll come", I promise. I saluted colonel Hidaka and walked out from the cosy tiny hut where Rin lived with her father.

* * *

He pulled the blanket over her form and stood up. He was already standing on the threshold of the room as her sleepy voice reached him.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Rin?"

"Don't leave Onee-chan alone."

He did not answer.

"Good night, Rin", he said softly and pulled the door, leaving it slightly ajar.


	4. The cat and the mouse

**Chie: **Warning in advance! A filler-chapter written in haste so that you won't have to wait awfully long for an update since I'm leaving to another scout camp very soon.

Oh. And **bold text **is something written down. Like... a letter, perhaps? ;P

**Chapter four – The cat and the mouse**

I shuddered as the ice water hit me. My knees nearly gave in from the shock of the sudden impact. Soon I was soaked all through, the chilly water trickling down on my bare pale skin. I simply hated taking a cold shower but I was left with no other option. The water wasn't too warm to begin with and after all the cadets had showered, the little warmth was pretty much faded away. In other words for me to get a warm shower would only be possible if I took a shower among other cadets – which was so not going to happen! I preferred warm shower to a cold one, but I didn't prefer it _that_ much.

I stepped out of the stream of water and switched off the shower. Grabbing the towel I started to dry myself off.

The last few days had been relaxing and peaceful. I had been looking after Rin. She was a sweet child, cheery, energetic and funny. She also was nimble-witted, had a sharp ability of observation and acted older to her actual age. She was a good company and her loving behaviour answered well to my silent call to be accepted. But today had been my first day back in practise after I had sprained my wrist. It was very hard to try and catch up with all the guys. It was simply astonishing how much progress could be gained in such a short time. Naturally, I screwed up big time and got scolded several times by the colonel, but I hadn't really expected it to be any otherwise.

I reached for the pile on the stool next to me and started to dress myself.

Maybe it would be better if I'd start from the beginning...

* * *

I knocked on the door carefully. It was early in the morning, before the awakening of the cadets but I knew she would be up already. And as I had expected, a moment later she came to answer the door.

"You. To what do I own the honour of seeing you so early in the morning?"

"Kikyo, please. Just let me in."

"Why?"

"Aren't you acting a bit childish now", I said sharply. "Or do you just refuse to let your every patient in?"

"My, aren't you touchy, cousin dear."

I ignored her comment and stepped in.

"So, what gives me the pleasure?"

"I came here so that you could check on my wrist. It should be okay now."

"I will decide that", Kikyo retorted. "Sit down."

Once again I witnessed the change of Kikyo, how she became a calm, collected, seemingly emotionless doctor instead of the woman she truly was. Kikyo was the same as me. On the exception that she was truly stronger than me. I knew the harsh, sarcastic behaviour was her own way to protect herself. We had been very close and only I knew how deeply the death of her parents had wounded her. Deep inside she still carried the grief with her.

Yes, we were more alike than we even realised.

"It has healed well", Kikyo announced. "You may proceed with your training from now on."

"Thank you", I said, truly meaning the words.

"There's still time before the awakening of the cadets. Go to rest."

I nodded. On that moment I felt that there still was hope... That despite all the mental wounds we had involuntarily or purposefully caused to one another, we could overcome the negative feelings between us and once again become close friends like way back then.

That trail of my thought however vanished as I noticed the door which lead into Kikyo's private quarters. The door was ajar and I saw the room wasn't empty.

I bit my lip not to let a sound out and turned to leave. It seemed that I had failed to notice that Inuyasha's bed had been empty as I left.

* * *

"You call that a shot, Higurashi? Just where are you aiming at? When I granted you the little "sick leave" I told you that you have quite a job to try and catch up with the other cadets and guess what? You're doing a poor job in that. So now you better show me what you got until I get bored at your lame attempts and kick you outta my troops. We'll be working your pretty ass off, maybe then your tries will be at least sufficient."

I could have gotten the point even if he had used less insults. However, I was getting used to colonel Hidaka's style and in my head toned out the insults, focusing on the thing he truly meant behind his words. I can not explain how I knew what he wanted to say to me, but somehow, I just understood. I was thinking too much. I should concentrate and make sure my aim was accurate and correct. I inhaled deep and raised the assault rifle to the correct position again.

'Aim', I told to myself and then pulled the trigger.

Bull's eye.

I suppressed my childish whim of screaming "Yattaaa!" Aloud and jumping in the air. In stead I glanced at the colonel. His face was blank as always but I saw the corner of his mouth twitch as he glanced back at me.

"Better."

My rosy lips melted into a bright smile.

Back then, I didn't feel a stare boring into my form.

* * *

The blue eyes keenly followed the girl sitting with the pervert and the red-head. The eyes followed her pale hands as they picked up the chopsticks. The eyes followed the chopsticks as their heads disappeared into that sensual mouth among with the rice.

'Hmmh, what uses for that mouth I could come up with', the young man mused to himself.

He couldn't really help himself. Since the moment of the young woman's arrival his eyes had been glued in her. She intrigued his mind. It wasn't like he only had romantic interest in her, no. She was his amusement, the thing which helped him to endure the dull, difficult training. Her inner strength also gave strength to him. It was amazing how well she was putting up with the colonel's constant insults and pushing around. Of course, the word had spread and now everyone was aware of the whole Kagome – Inuyasha – Kikyo situation. There was a bet among the cadets. Whether Higurashi would be able to take all the pressure from seeing her cheating ex and the third wheel as well as the training itself _plus_ colonel Hidaka's oppressing behaviour towards her – or whether, would cadet Higurashi crack. Yes, it was very curious indeed, to watch how it all would change and into what it would all end up to. The sum of he bet was already quite big and he votes had divided surprisingly evenly. Now all that was left to do for everyone in the bet was to wait.

"The lunch is over! Get your lazy asses off from the seats and back to practise! You too, Higurashi!"

He glanced at the sight of the colonel standing in the doorway and smirked to himself. Curious indeed.

* * *

I stood next to my bed, the clothes clinging to my damp skin, my hair dripping droplets of water and tried my best to be oblivious to the stares of the men in the room. I had not even asked colonel Hidaka to give me a private room for I very well knew he's only tell me 'We can't afford such a luxuries just because Miss Higurashi's feeling picky' or something along those lines. Absently I smirked at the thought as I was drying my hair with the towel.

Wait, what?

I just smirked at a mental image of colonel Hidaka?

I shook my head violently. What the hell was going on?

'You hate him, Kagome. You. Hate. Him.'

But a little seed of doubt resided in my thoughts. Did I really hate him?

Utterly sank into my own world I did not notice how quiet the room had suddenly gotten.

"Higurashi."

"Kyaa!"

I clutched the white fabric just above my heart and panted. My God why did he _have to_ sneak up on me like that!

"Follow me. Now."

Mutely I walked out of the barracks watching idly as his silver hair swung from side to side as I pondered on what was going on.

"Umm, colonel Hidaka, sir?"

He didn't acknowledge me.

"Colonel Hidaka, why did you call me out this late?"

"There is someone who wishes to see you", he replied blankly and kept on walking.

I frowned and followed him. His answer had just stirred more questions in me. Now what was going on?

We stopped at the door of his residence. he opened the door, gesturing me to get in. I hesitantly stepped in and nearly fell onto the floor on the sudden impact.

I glanced down and saw a top of a head covered with black hair. The little creature was hugging my knees.

"Kagome-nee-chan!"

"Why hello Rin", I greeted the child as a smile lit up my face.

I felt like smiling every time I saw the little fellow. Idly I wondered whether she had the same effect on her father too. Colonel Hidaka smiling? Unlikely. But, I couldn't help thinking how he would look like while smiling. I shook my head. Bad Kagome! Not time to be thinking stuff like that!

"You're all wet, nee-chan!"

"That's because I just took a shower. How was your day, Rin-chan?"

"I had fun! Although Jaken-sama is very boring. You were a much better baby-sitter, Kagome-nee-chan!"

"Aww, thank you. Now, why did you want to see me this late? You should be in the bed already!"

"That's what daddy said too but I said no!"

I tried my best to suppress a giggle. Colonel Hidaka not able to order his kid to go to bed? Come on!

"Now why did you do that", I asked, trying to keep my voice from wavering and my face straight. Colonel Hidaka was still in the very room.

"I refused to go to bed before you could come to tell me a bed-time story", the kid piped out.

I just melted at her response. She was so _sweet_!

I hugged her fiercely and picked her up.

"Then if I tell you a bed-time story you'll be a good girl and go to bed, right?"

"Right."

"Good."

I carried her to her bedroom and set her on the bed. She snuggled into a comfortable position and I pulled the pink blankets over her. I seated myself to the edge of her bed next to her pillow and leaned my back against the wall.

"Now let's see", I said softly. "Once upon a time there was a princess who..."

* * *

He stood in the doorway, quietly staring at the pair. Idly his gaze wondered from the one face to the other, noting the similarities between the two females. How curious. By the scene before him, one not aware of the true state of affairs might actually mistake the cadet for Rin's mother. Sesshoumaru snorted to himself. Well, By the scene before him he might say that Higurashi was more of a mother than Kagura had been. Kagura had never agreed to read a bed-time story for Rin.

And now he was on the same subject again. Kagura. He sighed in his mind. She had been a mistake. Looking back at the things now, he couldn't bring himself to see why he had married her in the first place. Seeing back from now... It had been a doomed relationship from the start.

He really should stop thinking about it. It was done anyway and already in the past. That's all there was to it.

Idly he began to wonder Rin's behaviour around Higurashi. Although the little girl was cheery and friendly, she rarely was this clingy to another people. And she had only looked after the kid for a two days. How remarkable.

Sesshoumaru kept on studying the two with his gaze. It was a bit distracting to see Higurashi with her hair freely flowing down her back. It quickly made her look more beautiful. No. Feminine. Yes, feminine was the word he had been meaning to think, where that 'beautiful' had come from? Hidaka shook his head. He had been clearly up for too long or then, his celibate had gone on for too long. It had to be either of those if he was even for a second thinking along those lines about his subordinate.

Yes. Maybe he ought to go to sleep now too.

He turned his head to see cadet Higurashi standing right before him.

"She fell asleep", she whispered softly.

He nodded.

"Am I free to leave now?"

He nodded again.

She flashed a quick smile.

"Good night, colonel Hidaka."

Somehow, he was not able to tear his eyes off from her retreating form.

* * *

"Inuyasha's in the SAF? Katsuo, my old friend, have you finally gone senile?"

"Is that a way to talk to your friend", Katsuo replied, acting hurt.

The old man shook his head.

"Are you sure that was wise, Katsuo? After all, Sesshoumaru is the leader _and_ trainer of the SAF."

"I am aware of my son's occupation, thank you very much Kenji."

"Then, are you aware that Sesshoumaru might take advantage of his position to bully Inuyasha?"

"Oh please, Kenji. I know my son. Sesshoumaru is too honour bound to do such a thing. He is raised better than that."

"Is he invited to the gala?"

"Of course. After all the Minister of Defence is hosting, so it's only natural that he is invited too, as the leader of special troops."

"Ahh, so I shall meet him there then."

"What about your daughter? Is she invited too?"

"Ayame, you mean? Yes, she is invited, though more because of her relation to me than from her position in the military..."

"I heard an interesting rumour the other day", Katsuo said, bending closer to his old friend. "The guinea pig will be there too."

"Whom are you speaking of?"

"The girl who's undergoing the SAF's training because the senate requested it."

"Oh, that one. Well this is interesting. Do you know how Sesshoumaru's been taking it?"

"I haven't heard from him for awhile, save when he called me the other day to call that the court made its decision and he gained Rin's custody... But I can only guess and my guess is that he's none too happy."

"My Ayame was actually one of those who recommended the girl, so she told me."

"Oh?"

"Ayame says that she's a very sweet girl, not at all the type that would go into the army. She had this sad history or something... A story about a cheating husband but I'm not sure whether it was true or just made up for sympathy points.."

"You wouldn't happen to remember the girl's name?" Katsuo frowned. Something in this kept bothering him.

"I suppose it was Higurashi… Higurashi Kagome."

"Oh how cruel the fates are…" Katsuo muttered to himself.

"Hmmmh, what is it now, Katsuo?"

"That Kagome… She's the ex-wife of Inuyasha."  
"Oh dear."

"Oh dear indeed."

A maid walked into the room after a knock on the door.

"Hidaka-sama, Miyagi-sama", she said and bowed. "The ladies are asking for you."

"Ahh, I guess it is our time to leave. It seems to be late already."

"If the ladies are asking for us, we better go down, don't you think, Kenji."

"Indeed. Shall we, now?"

* * *

"Yes?" I asked, turning around.

"For you", he said nonchalantly and gave me the two envelopes.

Now who actually knew to write me to here?

I frowned and started to walk back to the barracks, staring at the two envelopes.

Finally getting in I walked over to my bed and threw the enveloped on the blankets.

Most of the cadets had collapsed into their beds, exhausted from a hard day of training. One guy was snoring. There was however, a group of about eight cadets sitting in a circle on the floor, playing poker. I scoffed at them and then changed into the clothes I slept in. then I climbed into my bed, pulled the blankets over me and opened the first envelope.

"**Heya** **Kags!**" read in the beginning of the page. I smiled to myself. Sango.

"**How's it going over there? I hope you're still alive. I pestered Captain Miyagi so long until she finally gave in and gave me this address... So, anyway. I've been all fine. I'm getting out of here soon, as my service is ending. Then I suppose I'll get back to work. How boring! Maybe they let me to stay longer in the army if I ask them nicely?**

**Greetings from your former troop-mates. They're missing you. Ain't that just sweet? -**

**Oh. I heard some gossip about the guy who's the trainer over there. They say he's pretty stuck up, tough as hell and the hottest guy on Earth. They also say that his last name is Hidaka. Please tell me that he's of no relation to Inuyasha! Otherwise I would pity you way too much to your own good, you know!**

**Oh. Kohaku called the other day. Souta had told him to tell me to tell you that he said hi. Umm yeah, I suppose it was something like that anyway. -; **

**Unfortunately I gotta go now. Please write back, okay?**

**Take care!**

**Sango**"

I smiled to myself. I should have seen this coming. Trust Sango to find some way to contact me. As I tried to put the letter back into the envelope something fell off. It was a photo of us two, taken the one day before going into the army. We had gone shopping and into the movies, that day had been a blast... I smiled to my memories and absently read what Sango had written in the back of the photo.

"**Just to cheer you up if needed. And in case you will forget what we look like when you're rotting over there. Love! Sango**"

I put the photo and the letter into the envelope and then grasped the other one. Perhaps it was from mom?

I opened it. A neat card fell out.

"**Dear** **Miss Higurashi Kagome,**

**You have been invited to the Shikon Gala held September 1st starting at 6 pm at the Yamada Mansion (9 Peach street, Osaka)**

**The dress is formal**

**Please inform before hand should you not attend.**

**Looking forward to see You at the gala.**

**Yamada Toutousai, Minister of Defence**"

"What the – "

Yes. There it was. Black on white. My own name.

Still. This has to be a mistake.

Oh, but how cool nonetheless! A real formal gala! Hosted by a minister...! What I ever had managed in order to get invited? Despite my current tomboyish behaviour, I still was the girly girl inside. That's why I immediately started my delighted planning. I should get a dress... and appoint a time for a hairdresser and...

Wait. I shouldn't get all enthusiastic about this. I was in the SAF. There was no way colonel Hidaka would let me go. I sighed and put away the letters. Might as well try to sleep.

* * *

"But of course you can go, Higurashi! In fact, take the whole week off!" He beamed at me.

"Gee thanks, colonel sir!"

"Oh, don't mention... and please, just call me Sesshoumaru."

"GOOD MORNING, CADETS! I EXPECT TO SEE YOU ALL STANDING IN A ROW OUTSIDETHE BARRACKS FULLY DRESSED! YOU HAVE EXACTLY THREE MINUTES!"

I groaned and cracked my eyes open. Should have known it was only a dream... I glanced at my alarm clock.

4 o'clock? He called this a morning? It was still a friggin' night and I wanted to sleep... Yes... Sleep.. Good.. Sl –

"Kagome? Kagome, you're dozing off! Up now, before colonel Hidaka'll – "

I groaned again and reluctantly got up.

I have no clue how did I manage to get dressed and stagger in my place in the row outside. But the point is that I managed to do just that.

"Today, my dear maggots, we have a little walk. Yes, that's right! 60 kilometres walk with your proper full uniform on, carrying all the equipments necessary. You have twenty minutes to eat breakfast and pack everything you find necessary with. Keep in mind that with the equipment you pack with you're supposed to be able to survive out there for at least a week. That's all."

We cadets saluted, swallowing our groans and were off to eat and pack.

"Oh…(pant)… Kami…(pant)… I'm… _dying_!"

"Quit the dramatics, Miroku", Shippo huffed.

"Yeah, big men don't whine", I sneered.

"That is (pant) not funny", he pouted.

"It's only a walk", Shippo huffed.

I kept to myself. Shippo wanted to act all tough, maybe, but the weight of the rucksack strapped to my back was really weighing me down. 'Just a walk' Shippo might say. 'Just plain torture' was however my opinion about this. But I did not like whining, so I kept my opinions to myself.

"How (pant) much we've (pant) walked already now?"

"20 kilometres", Shippo calmly replied. One third behind!"

"I'm (pant) SO going to (pant) die."

I rolled my eyes. To my surprise I didn't feel so tired I had supposed I would. Life's full of surprises. Yet, my mood sank as I glanced at colonel Hidaka who was leading in the front. It seemed that he hadn't even broke sweat yet. Just what was that guy made of? I huffed to myself. But still, I felt a bit victorious inside. Maybe, if I still had this much energy left I'd get through this torture alive. Maybe.

Then Hidaka calmly lead us into the forest, not uttering a word.

Or then maybe I might not survive.

I got all mixed up with my legs as I stumbled trying my best not to fall over and get stuck in the little twigs, tree-roots and all the damn underbrush. What had possessed Hidaka to drag us to here? What was wrong with the road.

"Oh Kami, I'm being eaten alive", Miroku wailed, waving his hands frantically to keep the gnats away.

"Oh grow up already", Shippo retorted.

I squinted my eyes shut. I hated bugs. Hated. It clearly wasn't enough that the little gnats were eating me while annoying the hell out of me, no. The rucksack seemed to get heavier with every step I took. Once again I stumbled on the tree-roots and little low bushes. A silent curse escaped from my lips as I fell forward.

Strong arms grabbed me before I hit the ground. They lifted me up.

"Are you okay, Higurashi?"

I looked up to his blue eyes. Now what was this guy's name? He had spiky black hair and he was quite short for a guy but yet strong.

"Yea – Yeah, I'm okay", I stammered.

"Arai Bankotsu", he introduced himself with a grin.

"Umm thanks."

"No problem", he chuckled.

I felt a bit uneasy, not knowing what to say to him. I kept on walking as I idly scratched my temple, side glancing at him every once in a while.

"Why are you scratching yourself so feverishly", Bankotsu asked sounding curious.

"Because all these gnat bites are so damn itchy", I replied.

He chuckled in a low tone.

"They'll just itch more if you scratch them. It's not working, you know."

"I know", I replied.

"Then, why do you keep on scratching them?"

"Because when you itch, scratching is the natural reaction", I retorted.

"It just gives a frail peace of mind for a few seconds until they start itching twice as badly as before", he insisted.

"Well, in that case I'm one to appreciate frail peace of mind for a few seconds", I replied somewhat arrogantly.

He shook his head, smiling.

I couldn't help but smile too.

* * *

Shippo watched the pair walking side by side, scowling.

"He's hitting on her, isn't he", the red-head growled.

Miroku did not know what his friend meant for he was too busy trying to keep the gnats away.

"I don't like this one bit..."

"What are you muttering all about, Shippo?"

"That", the youngster spat out, pointing at Kagome and Bankotsu.

Miroku raised his eyebrow.

"Don't tell me, Shippo, that you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. I just don't like that guy…"

"STOP!"

All cadets froze in the middle of their steps.

"Put down your rucksacks."

Everyone obeyed and looked around at their surroundings. There was crossroads ahead.

"I will now check whether you have managed to pack properly. If I find your packing lacking of something, you will follow the road going to left. That route is exactly 20 kilometres longer."

I swallowed. So that in the end it was possible to be forced to walk 80 kilometres? Oh Kami...

I prayed in my mind that this once Hidaka wouldn't be the asshole-trainer as usually and wouldn't make me go the further way.

One by one he came and checked up what we had in our rucksacks.

Miroku was one of the unfortunate ones. As I saw the hopeless expression on his face as Hidaka told him to go the longer route I felt a sting of sympathy in my heart.

"Cadet Arai, take the left road."

"It seems our journey together ends now", Bankotsu whispered to me on a low mocking tone and got up, walking up to where the rest of the unfortunate ones were waiting.

I stood at my place trying not to avert my eyes from colonel's as we kept on staring at each other for a moment or two. He then check my rucksack too. I gulped nervously as I waited for his decision.

The amber eyes slowly rose from the rucksack on the ground before me to bore into my blue ones.

"Pass", he muttered moving onto the next cadet and his rucksack.

I stared at his back and the mass of silver hair in a total loss of words.


	5. Still Standing

**Chie: **Excuses and explanations at the end of the chapter.

**Chapter five – Still Standing**

The saying goes like this: "Time flies when you're having fun." Well, I'm not so sure how fun I've had... Okay all right, truth to be told, it hasn't been so bad either. In any case, time flies. Or has flown. I had somehow grown accustomed to the hard daily routine, grown accustomed to the situation of seeing Inuyasha daily, even nearly grown accustomed to colonel Hidaka. He still made my temper flare sometimes. But the most amazing thing was that during the month that already had passed, the other cadets had more or less grown accustomed to me. There was no more drooling, gawking or belittling me, no more outrageous hitting on me or pleas of "just for tonight, I know you'd like it". For believe me, I had had my share of that.

It had also become a routine that every Wednesday and Saturday evening I'd go to read a bed-time story for Rin. I also spent the Sundays with the little girl, for Sunday was the day when we had no training. It had become my little escape, that Sunday. With Rin I was free to be myself, free to be a woman. I could be as feminine as I wished to be without being picked on by the others. I could be carefree with the young girl and pick up flowers and wear a summer dress and let my hair freely fall past my shoulders. Still we were not allowed to leave the island though. Only on holidays and if a special permission was granted. This far, none of us had left the island after arriving here to be trained as a member of SAF.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rise and shine, maggots", Hidaka's roar managed to pass through my groggy thoughts.

Although over a month had passed, I still wasn't quite used to colonel Hidaka's random awakenings. Usually it was 6 am when the official awakening would go through the whole head quarters but Hidaka had a bad habit of dragging us out of our beds so early it wasn't even healthy. I tumbled out of my bed, ending up on the floor in a tangle of still sleeping limbs, a pillow and a blanket.

Shippo rushed over to help me out of my distress. He was already fully dressed and ready to go.

"Thanks, Ship", I mumbled once I got freed from the evil hold of my blanket.

"No prob, Kags. Get ready", Shippo grinned.

I groaned.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three minutes later the cadets stood in a neat row before him. His critical amber eyes studied the trainees before him. Finding their neat appearance pleasing to him eye he nodded. Maybe these maggots would stand a chance. Of course it was still very early to say, but maybe. Weirder stuff had happened before.

"We'll be having a little trip, dear maggots. We'll be gone for a week. Now listen well.."

As he told the cadets what they ought to pack with, his eyes automatically sought out one cadet.

Higurashi.

Funny. He had been trying his best to drive her out of his troops. He had vowed to himself that she would not last for a week... And there she was, still standing. A month of training had passed and she was doing surprisingly well. Of course, he was not going to let her to know that. He didn't want her to get cocky. Although he doubted she would let it go into her head. She was a rather intriguing character. In the training she seemed to be tough, determined and never willing to give in. She had become there just another face in the crowd of the cadets, standing out because of her gender only. However, he had seen Higurashi with Rin. Then the cadet became a young cheerful woman with a gentle side and a humble sweet nature. But there still was another side to her too. He had noticed. Every time Higurashi looked at his idiot half-brother Inuyasha, her blue eyes dimmed and a veil of sadness fell over her. The look on her face then made her seem vulnerable, and it seemed alien that the same fragile girl would be the same tough and fierce cadet most of the people at theheadquarters saw. She seemed to be a very complex young woman.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. Just why was he spacing out?

"... And that is all you need with for this trip. We'll leave in 30 minutes exactly. Dismissed."

"SIR YES SIR", the cadets roared, saluted, and ran off to pack.

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I stood in the mud. The rain continued to fall. It felt very uncomfortable. The rucksack stripped to my back was starting to weight me down, all my clothes clung to my skin, the rain made it hard to see and the mud made the ground slippery and made walking more difficult in many other ways too.

I saw Hidaka's form somewhere far ahead of me, disappeared behind a grey veil of rain. The thoughts had quite efficiently left my head and I just stumbled onward, following the colonel's lead among the other cadets. On and on we walked until it all became numb and we fell into a trance of some kind, not paying heed to anything happening around us, just automatically moving our legs in the marching rhythm. I was so deep in my stupor that I hit Bankotsu's back as we suddenly came to a halt.

"Are you okay", the black-haired asked, concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine", I replied. I stole glances to see where we were. I couldn't see why we had stopped here. The forest was the same here as it had been the past 5 miles. I raised my gaze and saw that the colonel had turned around so that he now was facing us.

"The deal now is this", he roared, gaining everyone's attention at once, "that here you will be divided into two groups. The Blue team and the Red team."

We all listened to him, forgetting all about our exhaustion, the rain and the mud.

"Both teams will be given tents. You shall find your team a place camp. You have time 'til sunset to get all ready. After that..." he paused, a small smirk appearing into the corner of his mouth, ".. it's all war, maggots."

Eyes widened, mouth fell open.

Was he meaning that…?

"You won't be given real bullets but rubbery ones. They don't kill you like real bullets would but I dare to say that they will hurt. The point of this exercise is fairly simple. Survive."

With that he fell silent.

Then, colonel Hidaka began to call out our names, one by one.

As my turn came I walked over to him. He gave me a blue ribbon. I walked over to my place in the group on the left of the colonel. Shippo was there too and helped me to tie the ribbon onto my arm.

"From now on, you're on your own. I will be watching you playing from the side, but I won't take any part in it. After this exercise both teams will be given a survey from me. Meet me here Saturday evening 18.00 sharp. Now, go!"

We picked up the new items we had received and started to walk onward.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The string was slippery. I stood firmly on my spot, holding onto the string the best I could. Inuyasha of course happened to be in my team. Perfect.

Bankotsu was circling the tent, tapping the cleats deep into the soil. He came to me finally and I bent down to tie the string into the cleat. A few cadets went into the tent and put up the mid-pole.

We had a camp. Well, at least the tent.

We proceeded to drag our rucksacks into the tent and spread out our blankets.

A part of our Blue team was working on a fire outside the tent. We had food enough for everyone for a week but we needed fire to cook it. And to clean the water we had got from a nearby stream.

"We need to organize", someone said.

"Yeah", another agreed. "We need at least three groups: A few who will stay here and take care of the campsite and protect it if the need arises. Then a few patrollers and then an attack-group."

"Two groups will suffice", I disagreed. "The patrollers can be a part of the attack-group. But we ought to have messengers too."

"The messengers can go along the attack-group as well as the patrollers", Shippo suggested. "And leave some here for the camp."

"Are we going to attack them?" I asked. "Just like that?"

"Well, Hidaka said that it's all war", Shippo grinned.

"Yeah. That means it's 'attack or be attacked'", Bankotsu philosophised.

I bit my lip. I really didn't like the idea of it.

We got our dinner done and ate in silence. After that we loaded our guns with the practise bullets so that we were ready, should a sudden attack from the Red team occur. We came into an agreement that the ones who'd do the night patrol would stay in our "headquarters" – meaning our campsite – on the following day, to keep things in order and guard it the best they could. That was why I found myself paranoiac ally glancing around and clutching tightly my loaded assault rifle, in the middle of the darkened forest. The darkness still felt repulsive and frightening to me, like it always had. Also, being in a war situation brought its own excitement and anxiety. It was hard to keep still in the cool damp forest side. I could faintly make out the soft glow of the fire that was hidden behind the trees between me and the campsite. It shone reassuringly in the distance. I glanced at the night sky. The veil of clouds had subsided and now there were patches of the velvety sky in the sight. Stars twinkled down onto Earth, filling me with wonder and warmth. Maybe it wasn't that bad after all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gunshots echoed in the distance. Back in our camp, however, it was peaceful. The other had agreed in letting me stay in the camp at all of the times. They were slightly impressed by the way I was able to keep the things rolling on smoothly. I made sure everyone got enough rest, made sure everyone ate; made sure the injured ones were tend to and generally took care of the campsite. It was a job suiting for me, since I didn't even wish to be in the frontline. Besides, as the "manager of the headquarters" I was free to boss around the other cadets.

And would you believe they didn't even question my authority! Vice versa, they seemed relieved that someone told them what to do. It was clear that the guys didn't have a clue how to manage a household. And in the end, managing a household is awfully similar to managing a campsite in the war-zone.

I stood by the fire, boiling the water so that it would be clean enough to drink. The gunshots rang in my ears and I gazed the forest. They were yet far away. It had been four days and our camp had not been found. Soon this tiring exercise would be over. I was already looking forward to fall back into the same routine I was used to. During normal training it did not feel so serious. I did not enjoy the war. I did not enjoy fighting. In my deepest core I'm one to love peace. I'm calm and I dislike violence. Funny, isn't it? But, it is the truth as well.

"What do you want", I asked keeping my voice calm, not bothering to turn around.  
"You still hate me, don't you?"

I sighed to myself, semi-turning to meet his gaze.

"No. I no longer hate you. But I haven't forgiven you either."

"You know that I'm sorry."

"It still doesn't make it undone. You hurt me too deeply over then, Inuyasha."

"You shouldn't be here. Army doesn't suit you. SAF doesn't suit you."

"If you wish someone to blame about me being here, blame yourself. I am very well aware that a place like this is not for me. But struggling over here has helped me quite a deal. Over here", my voice trailed away, fading into a whisper, "I have been able to heal."

"Kagome…"

"Do not worry about me, Inuyasha. I am already strong enough."

I finally turned wholly around, facing him.

"Just treat Kikyo right. You chose her, now don't let her go. Don't make her suffer as you did to me."

"Is there any way I could take away the pain I caused to you?" His face was serious and his voice even.

I smiled. It was a rather sad smile though.

"Be happy."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I couldn't help the whimper as it fell from my lips when the sharp pain of the sudden impact hit me. My right hand grabbed my bruised left arm and I broke into a run. Blindly I ran onward, towards the faint glint of the fire, stumbling on tree-roots and under bush and mud. I stumbled as another bullet hit my foot but I managed to stay up. I kept on running. They were chasing me, bullets wheezing in the night air around me. It felt like forever to reach the little clearing where we had put up our campsite.

"Wake up", I yelled as I stumbled straight into the tent. "The Red team found us! We're under attack!"

My words immediately caused action in the tent as my fellow cadets scrambled up, pulling on clothes and grabbing their guns. I didn't stay on the door of the tent and watch but turned around to face the attacking force. There were only three of us, the night patrollers. There were at least twenty Red soldiers. How long would it take to get our forces up and into the counter attack? We couldn't allow the Red team to take over our base!

Clutching my rifle I bounced behind a fairly large boulder and quickly assumed a shooting position. Moving from one enemy to another I aimed and pulled the trigger, sending them stumbling to the ground. The practise bullets didn't kill but left awful bruises and impact of them in the chest was enough to paralyse you for awhile.

"Get them!" someone from our attackers yelled. "There are only a couple of them! Take them down!"

I clenched my teeth and coldheartedly shot the shouter into the chest.

It was weird. It felt as if my emotions would have been washed away from me. It frightened me. Like I would have been pushed aside as a total stranger took over my body. That stranger was calmly examining the situation and doing what she was supposed to do.

And then I felt it. The fire burning me from the inside. It was the first time I had ever experienced such a strong emotion and it engulfed me right away. It was the will. The will to protect. They would not take over. They would NOT take us down! The will of life was blazing inside of me. Live. Protect. Survive.

I yelled something incoherent and sprang up. Holding tightly my assault rifle I began to charge at the attackers.

A bullet hit my right shoulder but I did not pay any heed to it. I suppose another one hit my side but I continued my charge.

And then several things happened at the same time. For one, the other cadets of the Blue team had finally got up and joined in the fight. Secondly, someone managed to put out the fire, leaving us into the heavy darkness. And thirdly, I went crashing down as someone pounded on me, tackling me roughly.

The air left my lungs, making me gasp for air. I couldn't see who had attacked me. Whoever it was, he was now straddling me and wrapping his long fingers around my throat. My head tossed back, hitting the cold muddy ground as his fist met my cheek. He hit me again. And again. And again.

My heart was bounding in my head. My lack of oxygen was making my sight blurry. The bruises I had got from all the bullets I had taken were painfully throbbing.

And I felt utterly helpless.

I couldn't overthrow him. I could do nothing to stop him from beating me.

My eyes fell shut as I bit my lip not to let out a sound. I distantly felt how my fingernails sank into the soft skin of my palm.

There had to be a way.

Ignoring the pain I suddenly jerked my body to the right. It helped, his balance fell and I had an opening.

All's fair in love and war.

I kicked him where it hurts.

He whimpered and doubled over.

Then someone emerged from the darkness. He picked up the guy who had been beating me.

"That bitch kicked me in the crotch", he whined to his pal.

"Never mind that now, Jakotsu. We're outta here."

They left.

I watched them run away and a wild joy bubbled inside me.

And then I fell to the ground.

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"Oy, Shippo! She's coming to."

The red-haired young man rushed over to the litter on which was lying a pale woman.

Slowly her right eye fluttered open.

"Ship", she whispered hoarsely.

"Hey Kags. How're you feeling?"

"Sore", she replied bitterly. "Man it hurts _everywhere_."

"Here, take some water."

He lifted a cup onto her swollen lips and she drank it slowly.

"We completely wasted your talent", Bankotsu sneered. "For keeping you back in the base, I mean. You're such a kickass that you should have been in the front line."

"Huh?"

"He's telling that you're awesome and that everyone's impressed about the show you put up the day before yesterday."

"Wait.. The day before _yesterday_!"

"You've been out a few days. And we don't wonder why. You've got some nasty bruises all over and you're left cheek is swollen and you're not able to open your left eye and..."

"Okay I got the point", she mumbled

"The base is already nearly packed up", Shippo smiled. "A couple of hours left 'til we have to meet up with Hidaka."

"Oh. We'll get going then I suppose?" the woman cadet clenched her teeth and tried to get up.

"Oh no you won't, missy!" Bankotsu gave her a reproaching glare. "You stay right where you are. Shippo and I can carry you on that litter just fine."

Kagome sighed and fell back. She didn't say it out loud but she was glad. It goddamned hurt!

"You okay?"

"Hi to you too, Inuyasha."

"Kagome, you ought to be more careful."

The woman gave a dry laugh, ending up coughing harshly.

"Don't you worry 'bout me. I can do just fine."

"Yeah, I figured", the silver-haired man muttered. "Kicking Jakotsu in the balls was pretty mean thing to do, you know."

"Oh tear! All's fair in love and war. He showed an opening and I took an advantage of that. Simple."

"You've changed so much I don't even know you anymore. The woman I married wasn't such a spitfire." He shook his head but she could see he was grinning.

"Oh come on, Inuyasha. You can say it."

"Say what?"

"You're proud of me and we both know it."

He glanced at her sharply but then let out a helpless laugh.

"Truce?"

"Truce."

"So you have forgiven me?"

"You wish. But I can't be mad at you forever."

"All right people", one loudmouth of the Blue team roared. "Let's get going!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were nearly there. In fact, we could already see colonel Hidaka. But the Red team was feeling vengeful and was not going to let us go that easily.

The litter I was travelling on fell to the ground as Shippo and Bankotsu grabbed their assault rifles, setting themselves between me and the attackers.

The impact of my meeting with the ground made the back of my head throb and for a moment I didn't know what was going on. Bracing myself I got into a sitting position I was helplessly on the ground, watching as my team was fighting everywhere around me. Shippo and Bankotsu formed a wall behind which I was safe from the Red team. Ignoring my aching body I kept myself sitting there. I felt bad for not being able to help my team.

And then I caught it, a faint movement in the edges of my limited field of vision. I turned around and saw a guy with a red ribbon tied to his arm, aiming his gun at Shippo's unprotected back. The attacker didn't pay heed to me. I suppose he thought I was so injured I couldn't move a muscle.

He was wrong at that.

With a desperate shriek I forced my broken body to move and charged at him. I hit him, with my already bruised right shoulder and he fell back as the air left his lungs.

I fell on top of him, unable to move any of my exhausted, sore muscles.

"ENOUGH!"

Immediately all fighting ceased.

"Let's put an end to these war games, before Higurashi gets herself killed."

Colonel Hidaka strode over to me. To everyone's surprise he scooped me up into his arms. I couldn't help but to blush as I felt his warm muscular chest against my body.

"You're a mess, Higurashi. A bloody mess. What the hell happened to you? And what the fuck was that stunt you pulled just a moment ago? You're friggin' out of your sorry mind, Higurashi!"

"Shippo would have taken a hit had I not stopped – "

"You could have pushed Shippo aside or warn him with a yell. But no, instead you decided to bounce on the attacker. Not minding your current state."

"My current state did not matter. Shippo was in a danger and – "

"Higurashi, who's the officer in command around here?"

"You, sir", I replied sullenly.

"I'm glad you noticed", he replied sarcastically. "Now quit arguing with me and listen. Cadet Yamamura was in danger, I noticed, but did you understand that your little stunt put _you_ into an even greater danger? You were already badly injured. You shouldn't push yourself too hard. I already told that to you when you sprained your wrist during the first days here, remember?"

I blushed.

The tone of his tone had softened. Just a tad bit, but I noticed it nonetheless.

"Umm.. Colonel Sir, I can walk – "

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"I said 'bullshit', Higurashi. You really ought to listen me properly."

I was speechless.

"We'll be returning to the headquarters and you will be put into Kikyo's care. I have to ask around a bit. I really am interested to know how you managed to get yourself into this state. Never before have I seen as rash cadet as you are."

I couldn't suppress the smile that tugged the corners of my mouth.

Colonel Hidaka glanced sharply at the form of Jakotsu, walking nearly right after us.

"And what ever caused Cadet Ito to limp like that?"

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chie: **I am fully aware that I promised you last time that you don't have to wait so long for the next update. I'm sorry. Some stuff came up. (Like school starting again after holiday, spending one of the greatest weekends of my life in Animecon with Dah-chan and breaking up with my boyfriend.) For one more time, my apologies. I made you wait so long, and all that for such a sucky chapter. My excuse is that I pushed myself into writing this because I felt so bad making you wait. I've been having a writer's block for quite a time now, you know, probably because of my current life situation that is causing me some stress. (Besides, I really can't write that good action-scenes :S) But I won't be pouring my personal problems onto you. I just wish an understanding. –bows-

If anyone wants to see pics of me and the Dah cossing Bleach, I can send you some links via e-mail.

**The Dah:** My apologies as well. Chie-chan would have been able to post this yesterday, but I was able to beta this chapter only today. Why you ask? Simple.. There was this awfully handsome and muscular sergeant Ketola and a few too many drinks last night… Army boys are the best, don't you agree?


	6. Back among civiliasation

**Chapter six – Back among civilisation**

"Good morning, cousin-dear, how're you feeling today?"

"A bit better than yesterday", I replied, leaning onto soft pillows. I think that the condition of the medic team's quarters tells everything about colonel Hidaka and the SAF-troops in general. You see, how harsh they ever treat us when we're at the training ground or at the barracks as soon as we get injured they rush us to here to be treated with a tender care.

"You have visitors again", Kikyo said as she checked up my bruises. Most of them had already faded slightly. However, my right shoulder was dislocated and the impact of the bullet had done minor damage to one of my ribcage's bones. My leg was still awfully swollen too.

"It seems that I'm popular", I chuckled in a low tone.

"Though I can't understand why", Kikyo retorted, shaking her head. "The bluish tint of these bruises doesn't really suit you. You look even uglier than usual."

"And my hair is a mess too, isn't it."

"You got that right."

"Well, I guess I can't help it. In any case, send them in."

"Nee-chan!"

I closed my eyes briefly and smiled. Should have known.

"Hello Rin-chan. How are you?"

"Rin is well, though I missed you. You look so hurt, onee-chan! What happened to you?"

"Higurashi tends to have a bad habit of taking games too seriously."

I raised my gaze and saw colonel Hidaka leaning against the door-frame.

"I'm looking after Rin", he nonchalantly answered the question that never was asked out loud.

I nodded, grimacing when the bruises on my neck throbbed. Those I had got when Jakotsu had been trying to strangle me.

Miroku and Shippo had come to stop by yesterday and told that they had a theory why Jakotsu had been so furious with me. Jakotsu's gay, like we all know. Miroku was certain that he had his eyes on Bankotsu who again was clearly after me.

I didn't however pay heed to that theory so much. There are numerous reasons why Jakotsu acted like he did. Why listen to a theory by a man who clearly and openly is a hentai?

My thoughts were interrupted by Rin.

"Does it hurt?" the little girl asked me, concern showing on her face.

"Well yes it hurts but it's nothing I couldn't bear."

"Higurashi, you need not act brave due my current presence."

"I am not acting brave, colonel sir."

"Ne, I still don't get it", Rin pouted. "Why did you get so many evil bruises so suddenly?"

"I am interested to hear an explanation too", the colonel said stoically, one eyebrow raised.

"And I was sure you had already heard it all from the others", I snorted.

"From the others, yes. Your side of the story however, has yet to be heard."

"Tell Rin, Onee-chan! Please!"

I sighed, closing my eyes for a few seconds. Guess I had no choice then.

"Well… I was in the night patrol when the Red team decided to attack to our head quarters in the middle of the night. I was the one who saw them first so I started to run towards our campsite to wake all the others up. As I was running I took at least two hits, one to my left arm and that one on my left leg. I ran straight into the tent and yelled for them to get up and grab their guns. There were only three of us in night patrol and we had to defend our headquarters while the others were getting up. I guess... Something snapped in my head then", I said with a nervous giggle. "All I kept thinking was how I would not let them take over OUR headquarters. Well, I got up and charged at the attackers. I think then I got that hit to my right shoulder. And that one that hurt my rib. Then, Jakotsu – I mean, Cadet Ito tackled me onto the ground. Air left my lungs then. He started to beat me, holding tightly my throat at the same time. It didn't feel that nice, so I was quite desperate to break free from his grip. And, in the end I managed to do just that."

"And how, if I may ask", colonel Hidaka questioned with his favourite 'one eyebrow arched'-pose.

"I kicked him in the crotch."

He snorted right then and I could see the twitch in the corner of his mouth. But because it is the stoic colonel Hidaka we're talking about, of course he did not laugh or even smile. But that tiny twitch was enough for me. I grinned stupidly.

"That was all, Higurashi?"

"Yes, colonel sir. That was all that happened."

"Spitfire indeed", the colonel muttered dryly to himself.

"Onee-chan, you're so _cool_!" Rin squealed excitedly.

"I hope you made notes", I laughed, patting the girl's head.

"I certainly hope you didn't", Hidaka said while glancing me from the corner of his eye.

Rin laughed merrily and hugged me.

"Oomph, be careful, please, Rin-chan."

"Oh, sorry..."

"Oh... Colonel Hidaka."

"Yes?"

"I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Yes?"

I reached to grab a white envelope from the table beside my bed. I had asked Shippo to get it to me.

"I got this some time ago", I told the colonel, passing the envelope to him.

"I was wondering whether I could get a week off so I could attend."

Colonel Hidaka took the invitation out of the envelope and eyed on it for a few seconds.

"Do as you like", he then said, tossing the envelope and invitation on to my bed. "Rin, we are leaving."

"Bye, Onee-chan", the little girl chirped and rushed after her father.

I was so shocked about Hidaka's response that I couldn't even reply to Rin-chan.

* * *

Colonel Hidaka stood on the training field, watching silently as the maggots underwent his training program for this day. Funny. His keen amber eyes searched the crowd but did not find what they were looking for.

That twinge right now had not been disappointment. Of course not. He would surely not be disappointed over something so meaningless.

Hidaka snorted to himself.

So, Higurashi was away. So what? It was not as if he would feel himself bored right away when she wasn't there. Right.

This sudden feel of emptiness was just completely random.

She had left after the training had ended on the previous night. What ever had possessed him to give her a whole week of? Just because she happened to be invited to the Shikon Gala? Ridiculous. She would be coming next Monday evening. The Gala would be on the Friday-night. He'd take the weekend off, from Thursday evening to Sunday evening. Knowing his father he would be all excited to get him back home. He was irritated already beforehand.

Something was off. He couldn't quite concentrate to supervise the idiots on the training field.

The feeling of something missing couldn't have anything to do with cadet Higurashi. Could not. He could not miss his _inferior_. If he would miss someone, that would mean he had attached himself to the person – and that was completely out of the question! She was _Inuyasha's_ ex-wife! He wanted nothing Inuyasha wanted. He hadn't even desired after Tessaiga, The motorcycle Inuyasha had got from their father as he graduated. The chromed beauty, top of all the bloody tests ever invented when testing a bike's abilities. No. Sesshoumaru had not wanted that motorbike for a single second. After all, he had got a car from their father when he graduated!

... A perfectly normal, lame-ass car, damnit.

Colonel Hidaka shook his head. He seemed to be spacing out and badly.

All Higurashi's fault.

No. Not hers. DEFINITELY not Higurashi's fault. There were no problems just because she was away. Nope. None.

Everything was perfectly under his control.

* * *

I sighed happily as the door closed behind me. Home at last!

I gazed around in my tiny entrance hall. Everything was as I had left it to be. I took my shoes off and stepped forward. I walked over to the tiny but cosy living room and tossed myself on the couch.

Finally. Free to do whatever I wanted.

Why then did I immediately feel bored?

Goddamnit, had they brainwashed me on that stupid island or what? I huffed to myself. There was no time to ponder over it. I should instead busy myself with pondering how the hell would I get a formal dress for Friday? In three days? And where would I get the money from?

So stressing. But I sure didn't want to be left out of the Gala, now way! I had never been in one and knew how hard it was to get an invitation if you were a normal girl like me. Heck, I didn't even know why they had invited me! Not that I would have cared, though. I was invited and would be going there, even if I had to go there naked!

... Well, maybe not quite.

Sighing to myself, my eyes just happened to land on a white envelope on my kitchen table.

Wait a second? Where had _that_ come from?

Frowning I got up and walked over, picking up the envelope.

"For Higurashi Kagome", was elegantly written on it in black ink.

My frown deepened. Well this was just odd.

I opened the envelope and a neatly folded piece of paper fell to my awaiting palm.

"My warmest greetings to you", the notes started, written on the same elegant handwriting and in the same black ink.

"I wanted to inform you that you need not to worry about anything. All has already been taken care of. I figured that with your current training you had no way to get yourself ready for the Gala, therefore I decided to "butt in" and offer you my helping hand – hope you don't mind that too much. Now, the Gala starts at six pm. A limo shall come to pick you up at two o'clock sharp, be ready! First it will take you to the boutique where are the jewellery you will be wearing in the Gala. Mind you, you'll only borrow them for the night so treat them with care.

Then you will proceed to fetch your dress and shoes – those you may keep if you like.

Finally you will be taken to Roxanne's Salon, where they will see to your hair, make up and help you get prepared as well.

So, as I already told you, everything's been taken care of. I hope you can forgive me my arrangements, which I did without even asking your opinions first.

Yours sincerely,

H. Katsuo"

After reading the note I was even more confused. The name signed elegantly to the bottom of the paper did not ring any bells. Who the heck was this guy? I had never heard of him! And what was this all about a limo? Me in a _limo_? And the Roxanne's Salon he mentioned was very well known. It was a classy place only the better people used – the ones who truly could afford it.

I have to admit that my first thought was if this were a bad joke or something. I mean honestly, a total stranger wouldn't spend awfully lot of money just to make me look good in one Gala, now would he?

* * *

The note kept nagging me a lot and my feelings towards it were incompatible. There were moments I was yet doubtful and sceptic and also times when I was excited though puzzled, and also very grateful towards my unknown benefactor. But everything was still uncertain until the Friday came.

It was a hectic afternoon. I had never had such an afternoon before in my life and I doubted that I ever would have. I had spent my free days in peace, visiting my family, hanging out with Sango, spending time with teacup and one of my favourite books. In other words: Living in a world of utter harmony, peace and relaxation. And then... The Friday came. And the most unexpected thing happened. Exactly as it had been told in the note, an exclusive black limo actually _came_ to pick me up. It wasn't just a lame attempted to ridicule me. Oh no.

It went as I had been informed in that peculiar note. The driver refused to tell me who was behind all this. After a while of trying to get it out him I gave up.

The result of it all was that the limo finally stopped before the Yamada mansion. A servant came to open up the door and help me out. I smiled friendly at him, stepped out of the car and straightened a bit my dress. I felt like a princess.

My dress was one of black satin, with beautiful rose-red embroidery and some white lace decorating it. My hair was dressed in an elegant way, on a complex mix of buns and braids. A single white lily was the only hair-ornament I wore. Wrapped around my neck was a black velvet choker, on which was a single tear-shaped diamond. DIAMOND! It seemed that the hell was at last frozen completely. For me to even touch a diamond, let alone to wear one... And in fact, it wasn't just one I was wearing, since I had a bracelet where was more of them too.

I really did not know what to think of this mysterious H. Katsuo person, thanks to whom all of this was possible. How could I ever repay him?

A set of white marble stairs opened up in front of me. I raised my hem just a bit, to be able to ascent the staircase. I never had walked on high heels before but to my surprise it seemed to be natural to me. I didn't stagger awkwardly, although I did not glide quite as elegantly as the most poshy looking guests put there. On the top of the staircase was a polished pair of doors. They were opened for me and I stepped in.

The hall was the biggest I had ever been in. For a moment I could but stand there, stunned, wondering if it really was okay for me to be here.

Then I noticed the host of this evening, the Minister of Defence, Yamada Toutousai. I recognised him for I had seen his face several times in news and such. He did seem to be quite an ordinary old man, with bulging eyes and pointed grey beard but he was regarded very highly.

"Miss Higurashi, the dress suits you better than I could have ever hoped for."

I twirled around and finally saw my mysterious benefactor. He was probably older than he seemed to be. He was dressed in a neat black suit and looked noble from head to toes. Next to him was standing a woman clearly younger than him, with a glossy black hair and friendly smile.  
"Katsuo-sama, I presume", I replied to him and bowed. "How can I ever express my gratitude enough to –"

"Please, Miss Higurashi. I need not your gratitude."

"But I have to repay you, Katsuo-sama", I insisted. I couldn't believe my ears. Maybe this man was a bit senile?

"If you wish to repay me, then promise me to have the time of your life tonight", Katsuo said, smiling.

"But – "

"Don't worry about it, Miss Higurashi. It's not like my husband could not afford it", the friendly lady – obviously Katsuo-sama's wife – said to me.

Now when I looked at her more closely, she seemed kind of familiar. As well as Katsuo. Yet I could not bring myself to remember where exactly had I met them before – if I had met them at all.

"But this is just such a wondrous gift to me. I've done nothing to really earn it and I feel bad."

"You shouldn't, Miss Higurashi. Think about it as an... apology gift, if you like."

"But you've never done anything to me that would need apologizing", I objected.

He just smiled me that little, mysterious smile of his.

"Maybe I have not. But still I kind of feel that I should ask for your forgiveness."

To say that I was confused would have been a huge understatement.

Then I heard footsteps and someone clearing his throat. The voice seemed to come from somewhere behind Katsuo-sama's broad back.

"Oh, right, how clumsy of me. I completely forgot. Please miss... Meet my son."

Katsuo-sama stepped aside with his wife.

Silence followed as I stood there, frozen, staring at the son of that kind old man.

He was gorgeous in his fancy black suit, his long hair freely flowing past his shoulders, his pale features in complete calmness.

I felt my eyes beginning to sting because not blinking for so long. I also fought to get my voice back.

"I certainly was not expecting to see you over here", I finally managed to say, being as polite as I just could, "colonel Hidaka."

"Well, Sesshoumaru my boy, what do you think", his father cut in, saving us all from a very awkward moment. "I'd say my choice of a dress suits Miss Higurashi here quite well."

I blushed at the compliment and lowered my gaze. After all, I was a very humble person and wasn't all used to being the centre of attention of such a noble, powerful men. It was, in fact, a little uneasy.

"It does not look half that bad", he said stoically.

I gaped at that. It wasn't actually a compliment, but... wow.

"Half that bad", Katsuo protested. "She looks astonishing."

"Beautiful", Mrs Hidaka agreed.

Colonel Hidaka humphed.

"Oh, Kagome!"

I turned around and saw a woman clad in green dress. She was smiling and walked over to us. Soon after her a bearded old man followed.

"Captain Miyagi", I greeted her, surprised at seeing her here.

"You're no longer an underling of mine, Kagome-chan. Please, just call me Ayame."

The cheery red-head turned to the family Hidaka standing right next to me.

"Good evening to you, Mr Hidaka, Mrs Hidaka", she said with graceful curtsies. "And Sesshoumaru-kun", she added.

The colonel greeted her with a stiff nod as couple Hidaka gave hearty replies.

The older man caught up with us.

"There you are, Katsuo!"

"Oh, Kenji my old friend!"

After necessary greetings, bows and smiles the newly arrived elder man spared me a glance.

"And who is this young lady here?"

"Father, here is Higurashi Kagome, once one of my favourite underlings. Unfortunately Sesshoumaru-kun stole her from me."

"So you are the one in SAF, eh?"

"That is correct", I replied with a nod of my head.

"So pretty and small and slim", Mr Miyagi said shaking his head.

"I've been meaning to ask you, Sesshoumaru-kun, how is she doing?"

A short silence followed during which my heart skipped a beat or two.

"Actually she is better than one might presume. She has some potential but still has a long way to go. She is still too rash from time to time."

Saying this he glanced at me sharply. A dry smirk played on his lips.

I blinked and blushed.

He actually was... complimenting me? And... smirking at me.

Quite scary, actually.

"Where is Inuyasha", Mr Miyagi questioned.

"You know him", Katsuo said with a little laugh. "These kinds of Galas are not exactly suitable for him. His manners and social skills are not quite what you would call… ehm..."

"I understand", the other old man chuckled. Then he glanced around him, at us. "What, you are still here? Run along, children."

I suppose that was to dismiss us – "Us" being me, captain Miyagi and colonel Hidaka.

Ayame grabbed linked her arm with mine and walked me away from them.

"Good we got away from them, before they start to babble about boring stuff again."

I couldn't but giggle at her words.

To my surprise, colonel Hidaka actually had obeyed the old man's 'suggestion', and was now following me and Ayame – with a certain distance of course.

"Well", Ayame said, glancing back at the stuck-up silver-haired colonel, "how has it been with him?"

"Uuhm…" I glanced back at him too, uncertain of what I should say. I knew that even though the distance he was keeping to us, he still would be able to hear every single word of our conversation.

"Well… He has not been half that bad", I finally said, smirking to myself. I mentally patted my back for having been able to swing the colonel's own words right back at him.

Ayame chuckled merrily.

"I'm thirsty", I said then.

"Me too." Ayame stopped on her tracks and semi-turned around. "Sesshoumaru-kun", she said with her sweetest smile on her face and batting her eyelashes at him. "Would you be so sweet and get us some champagne?"

He didn't respond at all, merely walked away towards the banquet table.

I blinked as I watched him go.

"Why Kagome-chan, why so surprised?"

"I didn't expect him to actually agree", I admitted.

"Well, he knows very well that gentleman always goes to get drinks to his date."

I blushed very thoroughly at that.

"But I'm not his date", I resisted, shaking my head frantically, still being beet-red.

Ayame just smirked.

"Aww, but why not", she said in a teasing tone. "In some very crooked way you could make a wonderful pair – and I know, I've known Sesshoumaru since he was a mere trotter. He tends to keep pushing everyone away from him but really, he's not that bad…"

I was glad I was not yet drinking or eating anything for I was certain I would have choked.

And that's how colonel Hidaka found us as he returned with three glasses of champagne, I was still nearly as red as the embroidery in my gown and Ayame was smirking to herself like a kid who has just found out where mother hid the cookies.

But naturally, colonel Hidaka being as he was he merely cocked his eyebrow.

I mumbled thanks as I took my glass from him. I couldn't look straight into his eyes after all Ayame had just said a few seconds earlier.

Ayame gracefully bowed her thanks and took her glass.

We stood there in silence, sipping champagne every now and then until Ayame spotted a friend of hers and rushed to catch up with her after hastily saying goodbye to us.

Being left alone with colonel Hidaka was a very nerve-wracking experience. The silence lingered. I dared not raise my gaze from the marble floor for I knew that if I but glanced at him, I would eventually end up gawking at him. I couldn't really help it, he was gorgeous. The bad thing was that he knew it. I gulped nervously, bringing the rim of the glass to my lips again. With him standing by myself I truly felt out of place.

* * *

"Get a hold of yourself, Higurashi. You'll end up breaking that glass if your grip gets any tighter."

A comment like that was so typical of him that the cadet couldn't help but chuckle.

"What", he questioned, his tone a bit sharper than before.

"Nothing", she said smiling brilliantly at him. "Absolutely nothing."

His eyes widened – just a tad bit, but still. She didn't seem to notice. He had not felt anything flutter inside just now. Had not. And if he had had, it would have not been because just one smile. One pretty smile. One very attractive –

He shook his head. What on Earth was happening to him?

Even though he would never admit it out loud, he rather liked the dress his father had bought for her. It suited her very well. She looked like a noble lady. It was hard for him to believe that here was the very same cadet that had beaten the hell out of another cadet just in the beginning of this very week. Her close-combat skills had bettered noticeably.

He noted that her glass was empty. So, like a gentleman he was raised to be, he asked:

"You want me to go and fill your glass?"

She blushed in that adorable way for hers at his words and shyly gazed the floor.

"Well, you don't have to bother to – "

Huffing he snapped her glass and walked away, leaving the woman to stare after him, puzzled.

It felt very awkward to him, to see the cadet acting the way she did - so feminine. Compared to what he was used to see her behave, this young woman in the Gala could have been an entirely different being. Maybe Colonel Hidaka would have had even harder time believing this shy attractive girl truly was cadet Higurashi, had he not seen her more than once in the company of Rin.

Idly he could not but to wonder which the true Higurashi Kagome was.

He snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head violently.

'Get a grip, Sesshoumaru. One might think that you are really engrossed by her.'

He nodded his thanks to the servant who poured the drink into the glasses and then turned around, starting to walk back to the cadet.

As he was but mere steps from her however, he froze. There, by her side was standing a young black-haired man whom Sesshoumaru recognised to be the younger son of the minister of trade. Automatically his grip of the glasses tightened as he clenched his teeth. The guy seemed to be cheerily chatting with Kagome and the said young woman merrily laughed along whatever story he was telling.

No reasons of his could explain this sudden bitter feeling clutching his chest with its long dark fingers. Neither could he explain the sudden crave to spill the foolish young man's blood all over the beautiful white marble floor.

Clenching his teeth again he resumed his walk.

"Here", he said, offering the now filled glass to the cadet.

"Thank you", she said smiling with a light blush on her cheeks. She took the glass from him and flushed more the moment her fingers lightly touched his.

Hidaka ignored the sudden accidental contact and turned to face the black-haired young man.

"Good evening to you, Ichimura-san." His words were polite but his tone was colder than the planes of ice over the Antarctica.

The son of a ministered shuddered involuntary. It seemed that he had made a very bad decision when coming over to talk with this beautiful young woman. Colonel Hidaka was known to live for his reputation. He was honour-bound and polite, yes, but also the feared leader of the SAF-troop, a merciless colonel. Definitely not one to mess with. And it seemed that it was even more dangerous to mess with his woman.

"Ah, Hidaka-san. Good evening." Ichimura turned to give a short bow to Kagome. "Alas, I have to leave. I enjoyed our conversation."

With that, the young man scurried away with his tail between his legs.

Sesshoumaru watched him go not bothering to hide the smug grin from his face.

* * *

The atmosphere had changed completely from the one it had been before. I couldn't tell if it was because of Mr Ichimura's interference or because of something completely else but it confused me. The air around him was smugly, nearly something one might call 'possessive'. But what reason there was for him to feel possessiveness? And over what?

I shook my head sipping the champagne.

And then, he was there again.

"It's sad to watch you two", the old man drawled in. "You are young; this night is yours, the time of your life, have fun!"

"Father", colonel Hidaka coolly replied, "What on Earth are you talking about?"

"Sometimes he's so thick-headed that it really makes me want to cry", Hidaka Katsuo confessed to me, sighing. I tried my best to keep straight face as he turned back to look at the colonel.

"Look over there, Sesshoumaru", he advised, pointing the correct direction with his hand, "and tell me what you see."

"People who're dancing", the young man replied stoically.

"Correct! Now could you maybe answer one question for me, son?"

"Depends on the question."

"What in all heaven's sake are you still standing here for?"

I saw how colonel startled at the question and how his brow furrowed.

Hidaka Katsuo sighed to himself rather dramatically.

"Here, my boy. Allow daddy to help you out."

He took colonel Hidaka's hand to his own, then, to my utter surprise grabbed _my _hand with his other, and started to walk us both towards the dance floor.

My eyes widened and my cheeks were tinted with rosy pink as the realisation finally dawned on me. As I realised what was about to happen.

Reaching the edge of the dance-floor Mr Hidaka stopped in his tracks, I and colonel halted as well, following his lead.

He placed colonel Hidaka's hand upon mine and then squeezed, forcing his finger curl around my smaller hand. I was sporting a nice chronic blush on my cheeks by now.

Katsuo let go.

"Have fun."

The old man grinned and walked away.

We stood there; both avoiding each other's eyes. My own eyes became drawn to the sight of our locked hands. My blush darkened.

I glanced at colonel Hidaka from the corner of my eye and saw him staring intently at somewhere. Following his gaze I noted that he was actually glaring at someone. Mr Ichimura.

Colonel's lips thinned and his hold of my hand grew a bit tighter.

To my utter surprise he led us onto the dance floor.

I wasn't very skilled in dancing but with colonel Hidaka's graceful lead I found it rather easy. I marvelled to myself how great a dancer he was.

It felt awkward at first, both of us feeling that the only reason we danced was because colonel's crazed father had done everything but pushed me into his arms and screeched "DANCE ALREADY, DAMNIT!". Also if you're doing something only because you feel obligated to do it, it's not very enjoyable. We continued to avoid looking into each other's eyes the best we could. I stole glances at him every now and then though, probably because I tried to convince myself that I was not dreaming. That this was really happening, THIS, dancing in a formal Gala in a beautiful dress to a classical music with none other than colonel Hidaka. I kept getting flashbacks of him... The time I first time saw him... When he stood there in the rain watching me doing the push ups... How he coldly glared at me when I did wrong the move he had instructed.

As I walked through my memories I realised how much colonel Hidaka had changed in those 9 weeks he had been training me. Or rather colonel Hidaka hasn't changed that much, but the way he treated me had changed tremendously. As I remembered how horrible he had been towards me two months prior I now became completely relaxed. I now felt comfortable – even safe – with him. My grip of his shoulder tightened and I squeezed his hand lightly. His eyes flew to me and I tilted my head back and looked straight into his eyes. Then I smiled.

I saw the sun-kissed orbs of him widen. His reaction made me smile only brighter. He did not avert his eyes, nor did I avert mine. The warm gold depths were drawing in. I surprised but at the same time very delighted as I noted that the layer of coldness was now melted away. We didn't even hear the music anymore as we gracefully moved on the marble floor as one, eyes locked. I think that our brains must have bidden goodbye to our bodies as well, because no other fact could explain the thing that happened next.

Well, it felt as if it would be the most normal thing to do. We both felt the strong connection. My heart began to beat faster for I realised it from the tiny glint of his eyes, I knew what he was about to do. My eyes fluttered shut as I leaned closer to him. A very warm feeling fluttered in my chest as his soft lips finally settled on mine.

* * *

**Chie:** THEY KISS! –goes all awwwwww- Hey wait a second, I'm the writer here .. O.o; Ehhehehe –rubs her neck-

Anyway, it came a tad bit late, again. But I have (again) an excuse. They're called matriculation examination, and they're evil. Now I'm sure that term says nothing to you, so I could probably call them as "graduation exams" or then "evil UBER EXAMS". Hmmh, yuppers.

But hey, I had something I needed to ask you! I've been thinking... (yes, I have. O.o scary, isn't it?) That should I get myself a Livejournal account? Would someone of you possibly be interested on how my fics proceed, what kind of ideas I have for possible future-fics and how I'm just basically doing? If enough of you say yes, I'll do it. (And make mrssmeagol happy o,O)


	7. Some things we just can not forget

**Chapter seven – Some things we just can not forget**

His soft lips brushed against mine in a way that touched my very heart. Automatically my eyes closed as my heart started to beat up faster. The kiss was very tender, almost careful. The kind I would never have expected from _him_. Not even being conscious of my actions I leaned closer to him as I responded, slowly kissing him back. I felt his arms wrapping around my waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Everything else had ceased to exist, there was just me, him, and his lips on mine. Nothing else really mattered.

"Higurashi!"

I yelped and found myself looking straight at colonel Hidaka's face which was mere inches away from mine. Considering the flashback I had been just living again in my mind it was no wonder that I blushed furiously.

"You're spacing out again", he spat, his eyes glaring me coldly. "Get a hold of yourself and hurry up!"

"Sir yes sir!" I saluted and rushed to catch up with others, feeling thoroughly embarrassed.

"You've been blushing to yourself and spacing out a lot. Is everything all right", Shippo asked as soon as I reached his side – once more we were on the running track, you see.

I glanced at him and bit my lip.

"Yeah, all's just great."

"So nothing happened during your little holiday?"

"Nothing", I managed to answer although my voice sounded a bit squeaky.

"Ah, all right."

I did not like the hint of mischievousness in his tone. At all.

I lowered my head and fought a blush from my face. I was hopeless. Totally _hopeless_. I couldn't stop thinking about him for a single second. I could still feel the warmth of his touch on my skin, my heart was still fluttering in my chest. I could still feel the jolts in the pit of my stomach caused by his sudden but oh-so-wonderful kiss.

Seeing him here again, _constantly _meeting him from day to day helped nothing either. He had returned back to his cold behaviour towards me which caused my heart to sink. It was clear to me that he regarded our shared kiss as a mistake and that he had probably already forgotten all about it.

Well, it was kinda forbidden, after all, he _was_ my superior.

But somehow I got the feeling from him that it all had happened more accidentally than purposefully, in a mere spur of a moment. he really had no feelings for me.

Oddly enough this thought made me feel utterly sad and miserable.

* * *

"Have you noticed colonel Hidaka acting oddly lately", Bankotsu asked as he sat down onto our table on lunch break. 

I kept my mouth shut, trying my best not to blush – again. Honestly, I'd been turned into a some kind of a blushing maniac, flushing red the instant I even heard his name – which was not just silly but also kind of pathetic. Damn it, his fault, all of it.

... Okay, it might be that I had a little crush on my trainer. Nothing serious. Just a tiny little crush, completely meaningless and –

.. who was I kidding?

I let my head fall down to rest on the table.

'Baka. Baka. Baka. Baka. Baka. Baka. Baka.'

"Kagome?"

"Huh? Oh? Yeah?" I got back up quickly.

The guys said nothing, just gazed at me oddly.

"What do you mean about Hidaka behaving in a weird way", Miroku asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

"He seems to be spacing out a lot. Not really concentrating on training us."

I paid no attention to the conversation the guys were having cause I was too busy mentally scolding myself.

"Well now that you mentioned it..." Shippo frowned.

"Hello you guys!"

I turned my head to see – no other than Jakotsu. He was smiling cheerily to Bankotsu and then turned a bit to send a cold glare into my direction. I paid no heed to it and fell back into my daydream.

"Maybe he's not telling us something", Bankotsu suggested.

"Hmh, might be. I mean, we get no news to here, who knows what's happening out there", Miroku said with a tiny nod.

"Huh, what are you talking about", Jakotsu asked, tilting his head.

"Hidaka's been all weird lately", Shippo said. "We're wondering why."

A smug grin spread on Jakotsu's face.

"Oh, _that_."

"Wait, do you know something", Bankotsu asked, suddenly seeming to be more interested.

"Let's just say a friend sent me something.." Jakotsu took a folded paper out of his pocket and set it onto the table.

"Huh, what's this?"

"It's an article from a very popular magazine's celebrity column! You know that the Minister of the Defense held the annual Shikon Gala last Friday, don't ya?"

"Uhh.."

"Umm.."

"You didn't know? Well, doesn't matter. Here, let your eyes rest on this." Grinning like a cat who got the cream Jakotsu folded the cut off article open.

The surprised gasps from the ones sitting at the table stirred me up a bit but what really woke me up was Bankotsu's voice, saying:

"That's one helluva hot babe Hidaka's having there!"

Quickly I gazed up to find all the others bent over... something.

"What's going on", I asked all puzzled.

"Jakotsu managed to find an article. Look at the pic."

I did as Shippo told me to.

The moment my eyes fell onto the photograph my heart stopped.

Ground, if you hear me, come and swallow me right now. Please? Just. Kill. Me. Now.

"Kagome, you okay?"

"You seem a bit pale, Kags."

"I know it's a surprise but it shouldn't be THAT hard to believe that Hidaka might have a girlfriend", Miroku chuckled.

I managed to close my mouth – I don't know how I did it but I managed to do it so that was good enough. However I could not stop myself from staring at the pic with widened eyes.

It was taken as we had been leaving the Gala, when Hidaka had walked me over to my limousine. The door of the car was already open and I was smiling at him. I stood facing him, so you really could get but a very short glimpse of my face – which was a very good thing. It seemed that the guys had not recognised that it was me in the picture and if they would... Uh, I'd rather not think about it. Anyway, in the picture you could clearly see that Hidaka's arm was wrapped around my waist and his eyes were glued on me. My heartbeat sped up as I lived again the moment we had stood there in the cold night air bidding each other farewell...

"Well", I said as soon as I got my voice back. I didn't like the sound of my voice at all, it was weak and trembling ever so slightly. "This is truly something unexpected."

"If he's got that kind of a girl, no wonder he's spacing out."

"You think Hidaka's been spacing out because he has a girl", I asked, one of my eyebrows raised.

"Well, it's the most logical reason now, isn't it", Miroku said grinning.

"That coming from you…" Shippo muttered.

"Hmh, I don't think so. Imagining Hidaka head over heels... He wouldn't even have a crush, no matter how pretty the girl'd be."

"Oh come on! No matter how harsh he is over here, who here really knows what kind of a _person_ he is", Bankotsu wisely pointed out. "Besides, that girl's not just pretty, she's a goddess."

"Oh, you're just saying", I said, trying my best not to blush. "Even if Hidaka'd have fallen in love, there's no way he'd be in love with that girl."

"You're evil", Miroku said, faking a sob. "You really keep putting that girl down. She's gorgeous, I mean, just look at her!"

At that moment, the situation took a swing to worse. Just my luck.

"Hey what're y'all conspiring over here?"

"Oh hi, Inuyasha", Jakotsu chirped, eyes twinkling.

Oh please. had I not already suffered enough?

"We found the most interesting article about your brother", Bankotsu smirked.

Inuyasha bent and immediately his eyes were glued to the picture.

"How weird", he muttered. Then he glanced at me. "Kagome, you have a moment?"

I gulped. This would be nothing good...

"Uh.. yeah.."

"Good."

He grabbed my fist and dragged me out of the dining hall.

* * *

"What the hell is going on in here", he barked out as sure as it was sure there were just the two of us. "First of all you and Sesshoumaru both act like teens caught doing something forbidden. Not to mention that your constant blushing reminds me very strongly about a girl head over heels in love. And then that article! You better start babbling now." 

I could very well understand why he was asking this, because I could see the concern he tried to hide under his gruff behaviour. But still he managed to make me angry. I don't know whether it was the tone he used, or the way he was pushing me against the wall.

No matter the cause... I snapped nonetheless.

"Let go of me", I spat out.

Inuyasha took one look into my burning eyes and – wisely – let his grip of my shoulder go.

"What the hell you think you're doing, interrogating me? Like I'd tell anything to you!"

"Kagome, let's be reasonable – "

"HA! That coming from you." I laughed cynically. "Why you even think I'd tell you anything?"

"I know that _something_ must have happened between you two and that's unnerving me."

"Oh, tear. See if I care if you're unnerved or not. That's your won problem, not mine."

"Cut the bitching already damnit! What's wrong with you?"

"Your attitude, that's what's wrong with me!"

"I have a right to know."

"The hell you have. I'm not your wife anymore, remember? It's called divorce. It happened right after I found you fucking around with my damn cousin!"

"DON'T YOU DRAG KIKYO INTO THIS NOW! We're talking about you and Sesshoumaru!"

"There's NOTHING between me and Sesshoumaru", I barked out. I couldn't help but notice the bitter undertone in that statement.

"Oh yeah? Why I'm not convinced."

"Leave it already."

"I want to know."

"Well too bad because I ain't telling shit."

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A BITCH!"

At this point he grabbed both of my shoulders, slamming me against the wall. It seemed that I had managed to piss him off.

"From the same reason that you have to be such an asshole."

"WHY YOU –"

"Would someone care to explain what the heck is going on in here?"

Both of us froze immediately as Sesshoumaru's calm voice reached our ears.

"Cadet Hidaka, you weren't just about to beat up cadet Higurashi, were you?"

His observing gaze went from Inuyasha's raised fist over to his other hand which was still pinning me against the wall.

"You two still haven't vent off all your anger? That won't do. That won't do at all. You know what's the most important thing you ought to have learned by now? Teamwork. Out there under the gunshots you all have to form a group in which every single unit will seamlessly work. I told you on the first day that I won't stand quarrelling in my troops. You still haven't learned that? My God you're even thicker I had expected."

Colonel Hidaka gave us both a disgusted stare and then walked right through the double doors leading into the dining hall.

"ATTENTION ALL CADETS! I'm sorry to interrupt your meal but there's something I want to show you. Come along."

He turned around and walked back at us.

"Follow", he simply barked out.

* * *

Very soon we were all out on the training field. Colonel Hidaka stood in the centre with me and Inuyasha behind him, when all the other cadets were watching us, standing in a semicircle. 

"Cadets Hidaka and Higurashi have been just caught up breaking the rules. I won't tolerate quarrelling in my troops in any case. Why? Because I would want to see you alive when the real thing comes. Teamwork is the key to survival. That is why I'm so specific 'bout this one special rule. Do. Not. Fight. With. Each. Other. We are the Elite here! We can't afford being torn from the inside when facing the enemy! Each group is always only as strong as its weakest member. But the group will survive as long as it sticks tightly together. Now I hope you understand that I am doing this following deed, not only to make you pay attention to my words... But also to show you what will happen when breaking the rules. Breaking the rules is a deed that must be punished."

I felt a sudden coldness within me then.

"It might not seem like it but I'm doing this to save your lives. Think about it."

With this he suddenly turned around sinking his fist into Inuyasha's stomach so swiftly and smoothly that it complete took us all by surprise.

I gasped and my hand flew to cover my mouth as I saw Inuyasha fall in slow motion, coughing up blood.

Colonel Hidaka however did not stop there. He took a firm grip of the front of Inuyasha's tanktop and harshly lifted him up with one hand. The other hand soon came crushing down meeting with Inuyasha's nose.

"Don't turn your heads away", the colonel roared to the crowd of shocked cadets. "You have to watch carefully. It seems harsh, but it's teaching. And you have to teach thick-headed people in a way that they surely get what you mean – the hard way."

My knees gave in and I fell onto the ground. My mind was in a haze and my heart broken into thousands of pieces. Colonel Hidaka, coldly beating up Inuyasha before my eyes... Was this the same man whom I had seen smiling to himself while watching his little girl sleep soundly? Was this the same man who had kissed me so carefully, so tenderly...? Was this the man, who had got a hold of my heart?

No. I refused to believe it. An involuntary sob escaped from within me.

Inuyasha collapsed, bloody and beaten. With one final kick into his stomach colonel Hidaka left him alone and turned to me.

He stopped right before me and for a moment nothing happened, I saw his golden eyes soften.

Then he heaved me up and started to beat me. I limply endured it. Why should I struggle? I could understand why he was doing this. I had broken the rules, I needed to be punished. It was nothing to wonder about, really.

But why with every punch he gave to me my heart shattered into smaller and smaller of fragments?

* * *

He let his grip go when he could no longer take it. 

Damn it how soft he had got. But the bruises on her fair skin... the bruises he knew he had caused by his actions alone...

He felt disgusted.

"Take them to the medic squad", colonel barked out, his voice sounding oddly exhausted. With that he walked away.

Heaving a heavy sigh to himself he sat down onto the sofa.

"Daddy?"

"Rin, Daddy wants to be alone now. Go outside to play."

"Can Rin go to play with Nee-chan?"

He felt a stab in his heart.

"Cadet Higurashi's in the infirmary now, Rin. She got hurt."

"Oh that's terrible! Rin goes to see her right now! Rin has to cheer her up."

The little girl hurried away leaving colonel into the empty cabin by himself.

'She broke the rules. She needed a punishment. In a sense I was protecting her…'

It did not matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he did not buy it.

'You caused her pain', a little voice filled with malice whispered to his ear. 'You made her suffer. You saw how her eyes dimmed. You noticed the tears she was trying to hold back…'

He buried his face into his hand.

He disgusted himself.

Ever since the Gala last Friday-night... He still did not quite understand what had possessed him to kiss her.

But the memory lingered. It was burned into his mind for forever. The softness of her lips, the sweetness of her taste, the way her body lightly pressed against his…

The memory was driving him mad.

He wanted nothing more than to experience that again. it was bloody hard to try to train her out there and treat her as any other cadet when all he wanted was to rip off her damn clothes and –

Well, he indeed did not want to do _those things_ to any other cadets.

And now he dwelled on his guilt. He hated to see her fair skin on bruises. The fact that he had caused those bruises...

It was unbearable.

If she hadn't be under his troops... Who knew what might happen between them?

He had never been affectionate one. He hadn't even loved Kagura, his ex-wife. Actually the reason he had married her in the first place had been Rin. The luckiest mistake ever happened to him. He had not got along with Kagura, not at all and it had been so hard, vexing and stressing to even try. In the end he realised that it hurt Rin more with them trying to act like a married couple.

So they had given up. It had not been easy. Life. For him. Well, no one had ever claimed it would be.

But the week he had been through now had felt as if it had been the longest week in his life. She was so near that he had to but reach his hand…

And yet he knew he couldn't.

Damnit. That woman made him _feel_.

He didn't like it at all. Feeling made it all seem so much complicated... And it wasn't too easy to begin with. Feeling.. Feeling made him softer. And he could not afford being soft.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"Colonel Hidaka, the training should be continued."  
He got up, hardening the wall around his heart the best he could.

* * *

"Nee-chan!" 

"Ara, Rin-chan? What are you doing here?"

"Daddy said he wanted to be alone and told Rin to go out to play. Then Rin asked if she could go play with Nee-chan but Daddy said that Nee-chan's in the infirmary 'cause she got hurt again. So Rin came here instead to cheer up Nee-chan!"

"That was kind of you, Rin-chan."

The little girl flashed a wide smile and climbed to sit on the edge of my bed.

"So how are you?"

"I'm quite fine, thank you. The nurse said that my injuries are nothing serious. I just need to rest for today and by tomorrow morning I'm able to continue with the training."

"Oh, I'm glad!"

"Yeah, I think I've trained so hard that I should be beaten up pretty bad before I'd be forced to stay in bed for weeks. Or then I'm just so clumsy that my body's been forced to get used to healing fast."

Rin giggled.

"Then maybe you can come to read a bed-time story for Rin today?"

"Uh.."

I really didn't feel like it. I'd be forced to meet with colonel Hidaka and.. Well, I did not want to see him.

Okay, I did _want _to see him but I knew I could not bear seeing him... Especially like that... Alone, behind closed doors...

My mouth suddenly felt very dry.

"You _have to_, Nee-chan! I didn't see you at all last week. You went away and left Rin here. Rin was lonely! Rin missed Onee-chan."

I knew she was right. I owned it to her.

Besides... There was no way I could say no to those warm chocolate-brown puppy-eyes.

"All right, Rin-chan. I'll come to read you a bed-time story tonight."

"Yay! Yatta!" The young girl hugged me warmly.

I watched as she ran away and returned a while later with a sheet of paper and crayons.

"I'll make a pretty drawing or Nee-chan", she explained enthusiastically and started her work, sitting on the floor right next to my bed. I watched her antics for awhile until I allowed my thoughts to take over.

I apparently doze off since the next thing I realized was Rin's small hand tugging my blanket.

"Nee-chan... Wake up Nee-chan.."

I opened my eyes.  
"You fell asleep." her tone was accusing and she had one small hand planted on her slim hips.

"So it seems. I felt a bit tired, gomen."

"Nah, it's okay", she said letting out a cheery little laugh.

She jumped down from my bed and soon climbed back.

"Look what I did! It's for you."

I took carefully the drawing she offered to me. There were three figures, surrounded by a bunch of bright, colourful flowers.

"It's Nee-chan and Daddy and Rin", she explained cheerily.

One thing in the drawing caught my eye immediately.

I was holding hands with colonel Hidaka.

"We're in the park on a walk", Rin continued to explain. "And we all are having a great time. that's why everyone has so happy smile."

"This is.. a very.. sweet drawing, Rin-chan. Thank you."

And I was being honest. The drawing _was_ sweet. Somehow though I found it also unnerving.

"Maybe in the spring when flowers wake up again we can all go together for a walk in the park."

Back then Rin had said that she wanted an older sister. But now, when I was looking at the drawing she had done I could not help but to wonder was it truly a _sister_-figure that she wanted. I could be a sister to her… But being a mother was a totally another thing.

"Maybe", I replied.

"Ne, let's go. it's getting late already, Nee-chan."

"Kikyo", I called.

My cousin arrived a moment later.

"What is it now, Kagome?"

"Am I free to go already?"

"I can't see why you should stay here... Unless you wish to annoy me further with your presence."

I huffed and got up.

"Let's go, Rin-chan."

"Hai!"

* * *

I rose quietly from the sitting position I had been in, just next to her pillow. I tucked the soundly sleeping girl better in and then just watched over her peaceful sleep for awhile. 

"You're always doing that", I whispered softly.

"Always doing what?"

I turned to look at him over my shoulder.  
"You always linger there in the doorway, watching."

"I like doorways", he replied with a ghost of smirk on his lips.

I turned and walked out of the room, he made me way and I brushed past him.

"Do the injuries hurt?" His voice sounded oddly muffled.

"I've endured pain before, it's nothing. Besides, I understand your reasons. I deserved it."

"No... you didn't."  
I turned around to see him staring at the wall. His golden gaze seemed somewhat pained and it stirred something in my heart.

"Don't you go and blame yourself."

He startled and turned to look at me.

I can't explain why I could so easily read his emotions after all that tight control he had over them.

I just recognised them, saw them even though she tried to hide them.

I suppose there just was a type of connection between us.

Maybe.. In a sense... We were the same.

Both afraid to show our emotions.. Fearing that we would just hurt ourselves again.

"I don't know why nor how... But I can see through you."

He walked over to me, his long fingers brushing the bluish stain on my cheek.

"You did what you had to do", I said softly.

"I did not like it at all."

"You still don't have to blame yourself. Don't dwell on it and punish yourself for nothing. Let it go. It's easier then."

"Kagome…"

* * *

A meaningless amount of time passed as they became lost in one another's eyes. 

And then it felt as if something had snapped.

His hands slid down her spine until they became to rest in the small of her back, pulling her against his firm body. His lips were on hers once again, hungrily marvelling at their softness. She responded quickly, her small hands coming to rest on his warm pale cheeks.

A moment later the kiss broke.

"We shouldn't…" Kagome whispered gasping for air.

"I know", Sesshoumaru groaned attacking her lips again with his own.

He damn well knew he shouldn't. But she was there, right before him… he could not help it.

He was a man after all.

Her heart fluttered in her chest. The way he kissed her made her feel so warm inside... Even though she knew it was wrong – Kagome really didn't give a damn.

The door burst open.

"Hidaka-sama! Hida – "

All movement froze for a few moments.

Sesshoumaru and Kagome hastily sprang apart.

Colonel Hidaka cleared his throat, crossing his arms across his chest.

"What is it, captain Minakawa", he barked out coldly.

"Oh – right!"

Captain Minakawa saluted.

"I'm sorry I rushed in so suddenly but it's urgent."

"_Yes_, captain?" colonel Hidaka said one eyebrow quirked. He tapped his foot once to signal that he wanted Minakawa to spill it already.

Colonel Hidaka greatly disliked to be _disturbed_.

"The Big Boss is calling and requested your presence immediately. It seems that we have a job to do."

**

* * *

Chie:** It's a cliffie ! I knew you guys were missing my cliffies - -evil smirk- 

**The Dah:** I'm terribly sorry that my betaing took so long. My life really collapsed onto me, so I was selfish and took my time before betaing this. If you are curious what happened, well let's just say that I'm moving to another apartment, my local internet network collapsed (I had to be the nerd in the house and fix it) and then there are these lovelies called matriculation examinations (hardest exams in the Finnish schooling system) and course tests (one after every course) and test week (a week filled with exams. One per day... L ). And a top of all this, my body decided to be bitchy, meaning that I really can't do anything. (I seem to collect every kind of illnesses..) So, sorry again that it took so long.


	8. End of games

Chapter eight – End of games

"General", Colonel Hidaka saluted before sitting down in front of the monitor.

"Colonel Hidaka, we are in an emergency situation."

"I'm listening."

"You know that the terms between North and South Korea have been a little unstable as of late. A few days ago we heard that North Korea has invaded South Korea and sent a troop, 'wolf patrol', to safely retrieve our ambassador. Unfortunately a part of the 'wolf patrol' was left behind. Now the use of SAF-troops has been requested in order to retrieve 'Wolf patrol' and safely escort them back. We await you to be ready in an hour."

Sesshoumaru stood up, holding tightly the edges of the table.

"General, I must object. These cadets have not yet completed their training, sir."

"Unfortunately we have no choice in the matter, colonel. We have not enough time to gather up older SAF-officers. Besides your current cadets are nearly finished with the training, it's the twelfth week out of total fifteen. We're counting on you and your troops, colonel Hidaka. Your transport will arrive in an hour."

"Yes sir. Roger", colonel Hidaka spat out and saluted. He marched out of the communication base. He didn't like this one bit.

I saw the grim look on his face and immediately started to worry. Something was wrong.

"I'm sorry to bother you on your rare spare time, cadets. I've just been contacted by the General and it seems we have some work to do. I expect you to be present in the auditorium in 3 minutes sharp where I will fill you in with the details."

A cold feeling of thread suddenly wrapped around my entrails, making me shiver. I felt nervous and a kind of nauseous too.

A heard the fierce murmur around me when all the cadets wondered to each other what was going on.

Sitting down on my seat in the auditorium I watched colonel Hidaka and captain Minakawa who were standing there in front of us all, very serious expressions on their faces. Captain Minakawa walked up to the computer and sat down in front of it, typing in a few commands.

A map appeared to the huge screen before us.

"Here's the border of North and South Korea", colonel Hidaka said, pointing the fine red line on the map.

"North Korea invaded South Korea a few days ago and a troop called 'Wolf patrol' was sent in to retrieve our ambassador safely from South Korea. However, a part of the 'Wolf patrol' was left behind. Now it is up to us to go fetch those puppies home."

I glanced around in the auditorium, reading my fellow cadets' reactions from their faces. Most of them had also grown serious and were staring intently at Hidaka and the map displayed on the screen, holding onto his every word.

I leaned back in my chair and felt a cold hand of fear settling onto my throat making it hard for me to breath.

"It is assumed that the 'Wolf patrol' will be somewhere inside that white circle marked over here. Their exact location can not be confirmed."

His sharp eyes were deep amber of their colour as his stare regarded each of us for awhile, moving on from one to another. Then he crossed his arms across his chest.

"I'm going to be frank with you now, cadets."

His words echoed in the quiet room.

"This will by no means be an easy task. There's a risk of getting caught in crossfire. Out there it will be a real situation for the first time for all of you. And you haven't even yet finished your training. Unfortunately we have no choice but to accept the challenge... 'Cause we will not leave our comrades behind. Everything you have learned this far will be measured out there. Everything. It is very important for all of us to be able to work as a fluid team. I surely hope you can do it. Truth to be told... I'm not sure whether you are ready for this yet."

A dead silence rang in my ears as the cold hand squeezed my throat tighter.

"But my opinion does not matter if you feel yourselves that you're ready. In the end… it's all up to you."

I meekly raised my hand to the level of my eyes. It was trembling.

"Ah. There's one last thing I want to say."

Once again his steady gaze regarded us all.

"Even if we die… As long as we die with honour… Our deaths will not be in vain."

I startled and looked up from my hand to his golden amber eyes. Somehow... His words...

The calmed my panicking soul.

A firm determination was born within me. He was right. We could not leave our comrades behind. They had no one else to count on but us.

There was really no other choice.

It was odd, really. Such a gloomy words... and coming from _him_... yet they made the fear to fall down. Because of those words, uncertainness became a resolve.

"Get dressed and grab your toys. This is the end of games. You have twenty minutes. Dismissed."

The legs of the chairs screeched against the floor as we got up one by one.

"Shut the fuck up, damnit!"

"Lay still, Inuyasha!"  
"You should listen to her."

The two froze and turned to look at me.

"Kagome…"

"She's right, Inuyasha. You are in no condition to go."

"Damnit! I'm just fine! Look, you need all the men you can have, so just let it drop…"

I shook my head.

"You're not going, Inuyasha", I said on much firmer tone. "Besides... I'm sure colonel Hidaka won't let you go."

"Fuck it all!"

"Swearing does not help it", Kikyo said dryly.

For a brief moment my eyes met with my cousin's.

"You're leaving", she said quietly, raising an eyebrow at my attire.

I nodded.

"WHAT?!"

I turned to look at Inuyasha who had got up in his bed and was staring at me.

"Oh no you won't."

"Inuyasha…"

"Kagome, you're not going. It's too dangerous."

"I made up my mind already."

"Damnit, wench! You'll get yourself killed!"

I bit my lip as I turned to fully face him.

"Don't treat me like a kid, Inuyasha. We're both too old for that nonsense. I said that I have made up my mind. Don't mistake me for someone who can not take care of herself! And if I do get myself killed… Then the only one of that to blame is me."

He fell silent before my resolve. I felt Kikyo's brown eyes on me, studying, searching for something...

I felt that she found what she was looking for.

"Good luck, cousin dear", she said softly.

I acknowledged her wish by a nod of my head before I turned around.

"I'll see ya later."

That was the last thing I told them before I left.

I tied the last straps of my rucksack and heaved it up on my shoulder.

"Kagome…"

I turned around to see Shippo, Miroku and Bankotsu, all dressed up and ready to go.

"Yes", I asked even though I knew what they were about to say.

"You know… That you don't need to go", Shippo said, watching me intently.

The corner of my lip rose into a lopsided smile.

"No, that's wrong, Ship. I need to go."

"I'd rather see you stay back."

"In that case I'm sorry, Bankotsu, but I'm coming."

"… Is there any way we can persuade you to stay", Miroku said quietly, for once being serious.

"No", I said softly but firmly.

I noticed them sharing a glance.

"And don't even think about knocking me out and tying me up. I already put up with Inuyasha's crap. I know that it's the real thing and not just rehearsal. Seriously… Kami only knows what'll happen if you guys are left to do this on your own."

I saw the faces of my friends slowly, almost reluctantly, melting into accepting smiles.

"You don't stand a chance without me", I said, walking surely and steadily out of the barracks.

I bent down and placed a soft kiss on the girl's forehead.

"Bye Rin", I whispered to the darkness of the room.

"So you've decided."

I turned around to face him.

"Yes."

I recognised the soft shimmer in his eyes; I read his emotions once again.  
"I've already been told… By nearly everyone… That I should stay here. That I should not go with you and get myself killed."

He staid silent.

"I'm not sure if I can make it", I whispered softly. "But I know that I will never forgive myself if I don't even give myself a try.

I felt his fingers suddenly brushing the soft skin of my cheek in a caress and my eyes closed automatically. He had walked over to me as I had been talking.

"Although I don't want you to take that risk", he said on that deep velvety voice of his, "As I said earlier, in the end it's up to you."

My fists closed, gripping the garment covering his firm chest.

My head fell to rest on his shoulder and I felt his arms wrapping around my waist.

It was enough… just now… to be in his embrace.

"Whatever happens…" his voice murmured right next to my ear, "don't waste your life."

I tilted my head and his lips brushed against mine in a gentle manner.

"I won't", I quietly promised.

"All clear. Kags, free to follow."

"Roger."

I grabbed my assault rifle and rushed forward through the thick under bush and ducked in the shade of a big tree next to Shippo.

"Has no one sighted the enemy yet", I whispered.

"No, not a clue of either of the armies."

"And what about the 'Wolf patrol'?"

"No sighting of them yet."

"Damn this is frustrating..."

"Not to mention nerve-wracking", Shippo sneered.

"Oy, Ship! Get your ass over here!"

"Roger!"

"It seems that Bankotsu's missing us. Come on!"

I ran after Shippo over the forest terrain.

The luck had been favouring us this far. The terrain had been this thick tropical forest so it was very easy to blend in and go forth unnoticed. Also, it seemed that none of the armies were anywhere near us. Of course we all were a bit jumpy and twitchy, and all the anxiety made us nervous, but, the hopes were also high and the sun was shining.

Okay, I very well knew it was not just an afternoon walk in a nice forest... Even though my describing of it makes it sound a bit like one.

Ugh, on with the story.

A sudden shout coming from behind us stopped us both dead on our tracks.

- not literally, luckily.

We whirled around pretty damn fast and faced a group of seven or eight men, all in uniforms and all holding weapons.

"Little girl lost in the woods", the one who seemingly was the leader sneered at me.

"This girl is not that little, mind you. And she brought her toy with her too." With that said I raised my assault rifle and aimed it back at him.

He grinned and for a moment nothing happened as we fought the mental battle without words.

"Kagome? Who are those guys? What the hell did they say? And since when have you spoken Korean?"

"Japanese, is that? Who the hell are you?"

"Cadet Higurashi Kagome and Cadet Yamamura Shippo from the SAF-troops of Japan."

"SAF?"

"Special attack force."

"_You're_ those guys?"

I raised my eyebrow.

"Kagome? Hey? You can answer me you know in stead of ignoring – "

"Our head commander warned us 'bout you. Your government contacted him informing that they'd sent Special Forces to fetch back some guys who were left behind earlier."

"Yes, that's correct", I replied.

"Shippo? – _crackle – _Do you copy? – _buzzing – _What the hell's taking you so long?"

"Wait a second Bankotsu, We have a situation here..."

"Just confused me a bit, seeing you I mean. I didn't realise that Special troops would've brought chicks with them", he said.

"Situation? –_buzzing- _Are you under attack?"

"Not unless Kagome loses her temper", Shippo replied, watching me warily. I was scowling and glaring at the Korean guy.

"Watch it, pal. Chick or not, I've been trained to fight."

"Aren't we all? Well, unlike you, we're in a little war here."

I snorted.

"Good luck at finding your mates", he wished before the group of South-Korean soldiers vanished as quickly as they had appeared.

"Oy, Kags, what the heck was that all about?"

"You don't really wanna know. Now let's get movin' before Bankotsu decides to get nasty."

I ran forward, leaving Shippo to stand on that little clearing, shaking his head.

"Women", he sighed to himself gloomily.

As the cadets efficiently were putting up a camp on a small clearing a little after nightfall, I walked up to colonel Hidaka.

"Colonel?"

"Yes, cadet Higurashi?"

"Ummm... There's something I need to report..."

"Yes? Don't hesitate to tell me."

"Well, earlier today I and Shippo bumped into a small troop of South Korean soldiers. Seven or eight they were. Once they learned we were from SAF they let us go without further questioning and wished us luck. It seems they have been warned about us moving out in here."

"And why didn't you inform me this earlier, cadet?"

"Pardon me, colonel. It just slipped from my mind... I came to tell you as soon as I remembered", I replied, saluting smartly.

"Which way did the soldiers head?"

"Uhm.. Northeast."

"Alright. Thank you for reporting this, cadet Higurashi. Dismissed."

I saluted him again. My gaze fell momentarily onto his lips and I gulped.

'Bad Kagome', I reprimanded myself and hastily swirled around to help Miroku and the others with the tent.

Thunder stroke with a loud **BOOM**, making the ground shudder.

I whirled around, seeing thick black smoke hurriedly rising high, covering up the velvet blue night sky. Everything in north had tinted red as the long flames swiftly devoured the forest.

I gasped and started to run towards the campsite, thanking my luck I had been patrolling in the southern side, in stead of the north one, which was quickly becoming a huge sea of flames.

As I reached the little clearing where our tent sat I noted that most of the cadets had already poured out of the tent, alarmed by the noise. Colonel Hidaka was staring on the edge of the clearing; regarding the fire in the same cool manner he seemed to regard everything. He peered at the burning jungle.

"Napalm", he muttered darkly to himself.

"Colonel Hidaka, colonel Hidaka!"  
I stopped before him, saluting smartly as I was trying to catch my breath after that little run.

"Jinenji, sir. Jinenji was patrolling over there. What if something's –"

"Calm down, Higurashi", he simply said, eyes flashing a little softer golden colour.

"All cadets, attention. The enemy have released napalm. The fire's too close. Leave the camp. Follow captain Minakawa's lead out of this forest. Try to find a rocky terrain. Make a run for it; it's only a matter of time 'til the fire spreads over here as well."

"And what about you, sir", someone asked.

"I'm going after the cadet who's trapped somewhere out there."

I watched his retreating back as he quickly strode towards north. Worry took over me as I but stood there, thinking what could have happened to Jinenji and whether colonel Hidaka would be all right. As I watched him go it seemed as if he would have walked right into the sea of flames. I shuddered.

"Kags, snap out of it", Bankotsu roared, shaking me.

"We gotta run, the fire'll be here soon", Shippo said, urging us both to move.

"Yeah", I meekly agreed. My feet began to move, they knew how to function even in a situation like this. As we fled from the fire under captain Minakawa's lead, I couldn't help but to think that every step I took away from the fire were steps that brought me further and further away from colonel Hidaka.

The smell of smoke hung heavily around us, like a curtain. The fire raged on, burning on our heels. We ran forward, panting slightly. Funny, I had never thought that our track-running training would be of any use. Now I realised that the running exercises had been very useful indeed. It felt as if the forest would never end, that we would run here on and on, endlessly trying to find our way out to the safety. And then, before we knew it, it ended. The green darkness faded away and we were under the sky, partly covered by the thick dark clouds of smoke. We were still running as we crossed the plain of grass. Minakawa didn't let us stop until the grass under our feet had turned into rocks and dry land. As we found a rocky clearing, protected by large boulders all around, captain Minakawa halted.

"We will stay here and wait for colonel Hidaka", he said.

So we settled ourselves there and waited… And finally we saw shadows emerging from the burning forest. But –

They couldn't possibly be Jinenji and Hidaka. There were at least five of them.

"They're coming this way. Be prepared", Minakawa cautioned.

A few cadets moved up, leaning against the boulders and aiming at the strangers, ready to shoot at command.

As they neared, I screw up my eyes to see better and spotted that one of them was leaning heavily against another.

"They have a wounded one", I said aloud.

When the little group of five had got yet closer I noted that one of them had red hair – and that she was, in fact, a woman.

What the - ?

My eyes widened.

"Captain Miyagi!"

The little group stopped on their tracks.

Captain Minakawa chuckled.

"Situation clear, cadets", he said gleefully. The few cadets lowered their weapons.

I stepped out of the protection of the big boulders and rushed over to them.

"Captain Miyagi!"

"Higurashi? Is that you? What on Earth are you doing here of all places?"

"Believe it or not, looking for you guys."

"We requested help and they send us noobs? That's just terrific", a gruff voice barked out.

Ayame rolled her eyes.

"Nice seeing you too, sergeant", I replied dryly.

"Really, Kouga", Ayame said with a scolding tone, "you could be nicer."  
"Nicer? Hell, Ayame, we're in the middle of a mission here! You can have a tea-party with the Koreans if you want to be _nice_."

"Just ignore him", she muttered softly to me.

During our chat we had reached the place where the other cadets were waiting.

"The famous Wolf-patrol, I assume. Hello. I'm captain Minakawa, one of the trainers of SAF-troops as well as the second-in-command."

"Second-in-command", captain Miyagi wondered. "Where is colonel Hidaka?"

"Somewhere out there", Minakawa replied gravely, pointing at the flaming forest. "He went after one cadet and we were waiting for him when you showed up. Nice of you, really. Now we don't have to go and look for you all over the place."

Soon Ayame and Kouga were engaged in a deep conversation with captain Minakawa, trying to figure out a good strategy of how to proceed from now on. Hakkaku placed the wounded Ginta down and soon some cadets walked over to them, asking all kinds of questions.

"He's taking quite long", Shippo was telling Miroku as I walked back over to them.

"I'm a bit worried", I admitted as I sat down.

"He should be here by now", Miroku agreed. "I wonder if something happened."

And as we sat there, worry taking over more or less slowly, two figures finally came out of the forest. They were walking rather slowly, the other actually limping.

"Ito, Yamamura go help them", Minakawa ordered. Shippo and Jakotsu got up and rushed to the pair.

A moment later they all entered the circle of boulders.

I shrieked at the sight and ran over to them immediately, completely forgetting everything else, everyone else save for Hidaka.

"Sesshoumaru, your arm!" I used his first name for the first time, and I really shouldn't have done that in the first place, considering that there were all the other cadets listening as well. But I was in a state of a shock.

Colonel Hidaka groaned and fell heavily to the ground; I barely caught him before he hit the rocky surface.

"Your arm…! Your arm…!"

Tears spilled from my eyes.

And then Shippo was prying my fingers away, trying to get me away from the colonel.

"Kags, let go. He's fine. Everything'll be okay. Now come on."

I trembled and sobbed, submissively allowed Shippo to take me into his arms and carry me away.

Colonel Hidaka opened his eyes with some effort.

"Sesshoumaru! Oh my God what happened?"

"Ayame?" he asked, peering to the woman kneeling by his side.

"We're here. All of us are. We can go back home now."

"A tree had fallen on Jinenji", colonel Hidaka began. "The tree was on fire and some of the napalm got stuck on my arm as I lifted up the tree to help Jinenji to escape."

The arm, his left arm, was a nasty sight. It was scarred and burned completely below the elbow, burned so badly it was all black and useless.

"It's nearly impossible to save your arm", Ayame said, gulping.

"No. It's impossible to save it", Sesshoumaru said steadily.

"What do we do now", captain Minakawa asked.  
"Now we rest. We will begin our journey back as everyone has got enough rest."

Minakawa nodded. After such a night, the rest surely was needed.

In the morning my shock had vanished and my hysterics had quieted down. I didn't felt completely rested but enough to continue.

"We'll go through the same way we came", Hidaka decided. His burned, useless hand was bandaged now and it hung limply next to his side.

The forest, once tall, rich and green was now nothing more than grey ash, with the heavy, stinging smell of smoke hanging over it like a mourning veil. Every now and then we passed by a charred skeleton of a mighty tree, that just the day before had had a large trunk and long branches heavy with leaves. Just yesterday all the beautiful trees had met their destiny. Everything here now was dead and hollow.

An odd melancholy settled down on me. I followed Hidaka's form as he steadily walked onward side by side with Minakawa. That arm of his, the fully burned arm must've throbbed and must still blaze with a pain unimaginable. I couldn't help but to wonder how he could endure the sharp pain so well, walking forward as if nothing would be happening, as if his arm weren't –

I let out a shaky breath and covered my mouth with my hand.

"Kagome, are you alright", a soft voice questioned.

I turned my head and saw that captain Miyagi had come to walk next to me. I could not say how long she had been there, quietly by my side.

"I... I don't know", I admitted after seriously thinking about it for a while.

"Is it him who bothers you?"

"No it's... It's this forest... So empty hollow and dead..."

"Is that really all", Ayame asked quietly. "I find it hard to believe that Higurashi Kagome of the SAF-troops would be upset by a mere burned down forest."

"It's the arm", I whispered reluctantly. "It's so sad… so wrong for him to… For everything to… It's so cruel!"

"Life is like that", Ayame said sighing. "In any case, you shouldn't take it on yourself, Kagome. I know that Jinenji guy is blaming himself too much of it already. It was Sesshoumaru's decision and he is fine with it."

I hung down my head but couldn't stop one single tear from rolling down my cheek. Ayame's strong fingers gently wrapped around my small hand.

For awhile we walked on in silence, all until colonel Hidaka suddenly stopped.

Shouts echoing from the distance, followed by the sounds of gunshots. My eyes widened as I watched the cadets in the front taking some hits, trying to avoid and evading the bullets the best they could. Ayame let go of my hand, rushing forward.

"Son of bitches", Bankotsu bellowed somewhere ahead, raising his assault rifle and taking aim. He was quickly stopped by Kouga, who tackled him to the ground.

"Get off me, asshole, are you nuts?"

"It's you who's nuts in here", Kouga roared back, eyes blazing. "We can't open fire! Japan is neutral in this war! Do you want to stay here, eh? Do you want to drag us into this fight between Koreas? If you want to do that, then shoot, please."

"But they're shooting at _us_…" Jakotsu tried to defend Bankotsu's outburst.

Something clicked in my head. I ran forward, yelling at the top of my lungs.

"STOP!"

Heads turned to stare at me, many pairs of wide eyes, many rows of pale faces but I noticed none of it.

"Stop the fire! We'll drop our weapons", I shouted, tossing my gun to the ground.

Ayame seemed to get the hang of my plan.

"Drop your weapons", she commanded briskly.

I started to walk onward on slow pace, my hands raised in the air as a sign of giving in.

The walk seemed to last hours.

I finally stopped when I stood in front of them. I recognised their uniforms; these were South-Korean soldiers.

"We are not your enemies, please", I pleaded, bowing.

"Then who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Cadet Higurashi from the Special Attack Force of Japan", I saluted and then tossed my dog tags for them to see. "We've merely trying to get back to Japan from the mission we've sent to do and we have injured people with us. Please let us go, we need to get back as soon as possible."

The Officer regarded me for awhile.

"Take me to your commander", he then said simply, giving my dog tags back to me.

I nodded mutely and turned to lead him to colonel Hidaka.

I found him leaning heavily to captain Minakawa's shoulder.

"Colonel Hidaka", I shyly addressed him. He raised his gaze slowly. I gasped as I saw blood oozing from a bullet hole in his stomach. Another bullet had hit his thigh. I swallowed hard. Now wasn't the right time to gawk at his injuries.

"Here is our troop-leader, Colonel Hidaka Sesshoumaru."

The Korean officer looked at him closely, noting the many injuries he had.

"Yes, I believe these your troops are the one we were warned about. I'm dreadfully sorry for opening the fire against you." the officer bowed.

I translated his words for Hidaka, Minakawa and everyone else listening.

"An honest mistake at the times of war", Hidaka simply said, inclining his head. In my mind I wondered would his calm manner ever break, even when having one foot in the grave...

The Korean officer bowed again after I had translated Hidaka's words to him. Then he curtly nodded at me and walked away.

"Quick thinking, Kagome", Ayame praised me.

"Not quick enough", I muttered, worriedly eyeing at Hidaka's grave wounds.

Later on I learned that Hidaka had got the bullet to his stomach when pushing Minakawa out of the way. A true leader, that Hidaka really is. A true leader who sacrifices himself for his underlings.

"I'm fine", Hidaka softly murmured. "Now let's keep up. We have even more injured people now, we gotta hurry!"

On and on, on and on we walked… Hidaka was limping, leaning on Minakawa. His now useless left arm limply swung to and fro.

"I recognise this area", Shippo said excitedly as the road began to rise. "After this hill there's only one valley between us and the shore. We're nearly there Kagome!"

After hearing that our hopes got high again and I even felt I could let out a little laugh! We walked towards the top of the hill, now merrily chatting with each other.

And when we reached the top of the hill, it felt as if everything had frozen on spot. None of us let a sound, none of us dared to move, we all could but stare, stare in terror at the valley between us and the ocean shore, the valley, which had turned into a battlefield.

**Chie:** Give credit to the Dah, people, and give it now! She has had a very crappy week and STILL beta-ed this chapter in a few hours even without me asking her to do it.

Thank you, darling. -hugs-


	9. Final struggle

**_PLEASE READ_**

**AR **(aka the author's rant)No. There is NO miraculous way Sesshoumaru's left arm will be saved. I don't get what you're complaining, people! I mean, come on. I thought it was a brilliant idea, to make him lose his left arm. Why? _Because that bloody happens in the original story too!_ Then why is it so hard to accept if I decide to do the same? I really wonder. Mattaku.

I got asked how many chapters there are left to this story. Well. Read the title of this chapter very carefully and then use your head.

... Yes, that's right. –Sniffle- It's THE FINAL CHAPTER, m'darlings!

When I first began to write this chapter, I thought: 'How am I ever going to get it long enough?'

Well, along came Dah-chan with her nifty suggestions. Now I think: 'How am I ever going to stuff this all into one chapter???'

If you're sharp you'll find hidden song lyrics and hints from the text. The one who guesses the right song gets a virtual cookie and a hug.

And I know it's late but hey, I'm a human too.

Enough with my rant now. Everyone, I hope y'all enjoy our final countdown –dundundun-

Chiera

**Chapter nine – The final struggle**

"Kami-sama... This can't be happening." Ayame's face was suddenly all pale.

"Fuck! We were nearly there. I mean, you can even see the shore already from here!" Kouga's hands were clenched in fists as he continued to mutter curses in an undertone.

"Just go around it", Hidaka stated on that tone which reached everyone's ears no matter how quietly he spoke. "If everyone would not be tired and some injured, we could maybe risk it and go through crossfire but now there's no other choice than take a longer road."

"But sir", Minakawa objected, "we don't have time! You don't have time!"

"I know", Hidaka calmly replied. "Go round the right edge. Take contact to the pilots who're waiting and tell them that you'll be a bit late."

"Sesshoumaru – " Ayame started.

"Go. You don't have the whole day to waste."

"We can't just leave you here", Jinenji cried out. "Not after everything you have done!"

"It's no use", Minakawa whispered softly. "In the time it takes for us to take the longer road, colonel will bleed to death."  
"But – !"

"That can't be – "

"GO!" Hidaka roared, pushing Minakawa away and now standing shakily on his only good leg. "You have no time to waste!"

Minakawa's lips thinned to a grim line. He did not like this one bit.

"All cadets follow me! We'll go round from the right", the captain commanded, and started to move forward, soon followed by Kouga and Ayame.

One by one, all the cadets began to follow, reluctantly at first, but then realising there was nothing they could do about it.

All save for one.

"Kags! What the heck are you doing? We gotta get moving so we'll get outta here!"

I watched colonel Hidaka's form as he stood there alone. My gaze trailed over his shadowed face to his left burned arm wrapped up in bandages resting limply against his side, the bullet hole in his thigh, the white bandages covering his abdomen tinted with crimson red.

I felt the tears burning in my eyes and my nails sank to the soft flesh of my palm. Waves of overwhelming emotions hit me one by one and then all at once. Desperation. Helplessness. Affection. Anger. Depression. Fear. Sorrow. Pain. Compassion. Frustration.

It felt so wrong to leave him there, so wrong I nearly choked on my unshed tears.

"Kagome", Shippo cried in desperation.

For a second Hidaka's eyes met my gaze. Their golden glow seemed to have dimmed a bit somehow. I could feel his pain, I could feel his sorrow. His frustration, his hopelessness.

"Go", he said huskily and averted his gaze.

It took all the self-control that I had, to turn my back to him and start walking after the row of cadets.

* * *

He raised his gaze and watched her retreating back. Few midnight-black locks had escaped from her tight bun. He could sense her struggle, how she had to force herself to take every single step taking her further away from him.

'_My only hope, my only love.'_

It was better off this way. With these injuries of his he was as good as dead anyway.

And the thing with him and Kagome had never been a meant to be in the first place. On the contrary, that relationship had been doomed from the very start. He still did not regret anything. He only felt a little sorry for Kagome for he knew the depth of her emotions and the pain that his death would cause her.

He never had wanted to hurt her in any way.

Sesshoumaru limped heavily over to a large rock and sat down with serious effort, leaning his back against the stony surface.

'_I give up. I can give up already, right? I have nothing left. My body's broken... I'm through fighting it... .'_

His breathing came in a sharp his as a sudden throb of pain shot through his body again. Trying to ignore the pain took so much of his strength...

'_This time it's cut way too deep..'_

If it was his turn to die, then so be it. He had lived a good life, he had no regrets. The only things about his death that made him worry, were Rin and Kagome. What would happen to Rin? He hoped that Kagura would not get his daughter to herself again. Maybe his father would take his granddaughter in. His father had always liked Rin.

Or maybe Rin would stick with Kagome. The thought made him smile a bit. They'd be well of together, like a mother and daughter... The only girls in his life he truly cared for.

"Live for me", Hidaka Sesshoumaru whispered to the now deserted top of the hill, his faint whisper drowning under the sharp booming sounds of gunshots.

* * *

My heart was heavy, weighing me down like never before. I stared at my boots, how they moved on and on as my legs took new steps.

'_I can't run anymore.'_

With fascination I watched as my boots stopped.

And then I heard my own voice, not faltering one bit as it clearly and loudly stated:

"I will not follow you further."

The three officers in lead immediately stopped and turned around. Several cadets had also stopped and were looking at me, full of confusion.

"Higurashi, are you disobeying commands", Minakawa asked scowling.

I looked back at him, straight to the eye.

"I won't leave him behind."

"I said that he'll bleed to death before we'll reach the shore", Minakawa bellowed.

"That is why I will cross that vale", I said softly.

"Kagome", Ayame shrieked. Her face was pale, her beautiful green eyes wide and shocked. "You mustn't! You'll die..."

A memory of Hidaka's words trailed to me.

"_Even if we die… As long as we die with honour… Our deaths will not be in vain."_

"Then I will", I calmly said, meeting her gaze evenly. A small smile lighted up my face. "If I die down there, I'll die proudly, knowing I gave all I had. And my death will not be in vain. I made a promise, Ayame. I promised not to waste my life. And I'm not going to break that promise."

I turned around and started run back to the hill on which we had left colonel Hidaka. Distantly I heard the loud objections of Shippo, Miroku, Bankotsu and my other friends. They were yelling my name, telling me to stop and come back... I closed my ears from the sounds coming from behind me and focused on running forward.

"You can't let her go like that", Shippo objected loudly.

"She left by herself", Minakawa bellowed back, eyes blazing with anger. "If she wants to go to kill herself then she may as well be my guest."

"They will both die", Bankotsu whispered on a broken tone.

"No", Shippo breathed out.

Miroku stood in silence, looking back the way Kagome had vanished.

"Gentlemen, fighting now is pointless", Captain Miyagi softly cut in. "They both have made their decisions. What kind of an outcome we will all get is yet to be seen. There's nothing we can do for them anymore, but a lot we can do for ourselves."

"But captain –"

"Enough lad." This time it was Kouga who spoke. "The best we can do for them now is to respect the decisions they met by themselves and believe in them. But we have injured among us as well. We have to hurry."

"But – "

Miroku placed his hand on Shippo's shoulder.

"Let it be, Ship. They're right and you know it."  
The red-headed young man heaved a heavy sigh.

"Cadets, we move onward", captain Minakawa commanded, turning his back to the cadets and starting to walk on again.

* * *

I ran blindly forward, images of him flashing before my eyes. So many emotions, so many memories, it all was too much. I remembered how soft and sweet his voice had sounded the first time I met him, how I thought I was gazing at an angel. I remembered his hateful behaviour towards me, always mocking me, always giving me extra penalties; I remembered how strong my hate towards him had been.

Funny really. He had made me strong. Struggling hard to please him at least once but all the times getting just scolding, mockery and more push ups to do... By all that he had done in order to make me quit, he had only managed to make me strong, both mentally and physically.

Another image flashed in my mind, I remembered myself peeling potatoes and musing that Hidaka must be a sick sadist.

"_That was pathetic Higurashi..."_

"_Still pathetic, Higurashi, but at least you tried this time... fifteen push ups!"_

"_How long has your wrist been sprained? Why didn't you say something! Off to the medical squad, Higurashi, now!" _

"_Why didn't you tell me you're afraid of the dark? Higurashi, go to bed."_

"_How am I ever going to make a soldier out of you?"_

"_Cadet Higurashi, I wouldn't let you near a gun even if my life depended on it."_

"_You call that a shot, Higurashi? Just where are you aiming at!"_

"_.. It's all war, maggots."_

"_Let's put an end to these war games before Higurashi gets herself killed."_

"_You shouldn't push yourself too hard."_

"_I said 'bullshit', Higurashi. You really ought to listen to me properly."_

"_Higurashi, you need not act brave due my current presence."_

"_Do as you like."_

"_Actually she is better than one might presume."_

"_You want me to fill your glass?"_

"_I like doorways."_

"_Do the injuries hurt?"_

"_I didn't like it at all."  
"Kagome..."_

"_In the end... it's all up to you."_

"_I don't want you to take that risk..."_

"_... Don't waste your life."_

All the words he ever had said to me, echoing in my head at the same time. I saw him sneering at me as I did the push ups, I saw the mocking glint in his cold eyes as I failed once again, I once again felt his arms around me when he carried me, again I felt the ghost of his lips on mine...

There was no way I could leave him behind.

Not after all he had done for me.

His influence on me had been so great that no words existing can describe it.

I could see the hill ahead.

'_Sesshoumaru... I tried to ignore it for so long but I can't do that anymore. I tried to walk away from you... just to realise I couldn't. I'm sorry...'_

My running came to a stop abruptly. Mygaze fell on him as he was sitting against a rock on the other side of the hill top, his silver hair falling over his down bent face like a veil.

And then he raised his head.

Surprise flashed in his eyes when he saw me.

"Kagome…"

I fell to my knees before him, leaned against him and wrapped my hands around his neck. I sobbed against his shoulder, finally allowing myself to let the tears freely fall, the tears I had been holding since the moment I had been forced to leave him.

"Kagome, what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't go any further. Juts couldn't. I can't you leave here, Sesshoumaru..."

'_Without you I can't go on anymore.'_

"Kagome..." his right hand wrapped around my waist.

"I'm sorry", I sobbed on my broken voice. "I'm sorry..."

"You don't need to be."

We stayed there like that for a while, locked into each other's embrace as down below the war raged on.

"Come on", I said softly as broke free from his embrace, getting up. My tears had already waned, gone before my determination.

"Kagome, you have to go back. You still have time to catch up with Minakawa and the others..."

I was now frantically looking around, searching for anything that would make a good cane for Sesshoumaru to use. I could not drag him over that field; he would have to do the walking himself.

"Here", I said, holding triumphantly a firm branch in my hand. "You'll use this as a cane."

"Kagome, what the hell are you doing", he demanded to know, looking at me sceptically.

"We're going to cross that field."

"WHAT?! We are not following any petty suicidal plan of yours. THIS is what we'll do: You will turn your back to me and catch up with Minakawa. I'll stay here."

"No way. I'm not leaving you here to die."

"YOU WILL LEAVE, HIGURASHI! THAT'S AN ORDER!" His voice shook with great anger. I never had seen him loosing his temper so completely but I did not flinch.

"Then I'm afraid I'll have to disobey, sir."

He looked at me, not believing his ears.

"Do you think I could ever forgive myself if I walked away now", I whispered softly.

"Kagome.."

"Now shut up! You like it or not, I'll save you or then die trying. At least that way I can die with honour."

A ghost of a smile appeared into a corner of his lips.

"Get up", I said, offering my hand to him. He took it and heavily pulled himself up.

Mutely he took the cane I was holding, leaning heavily on it.

"Are you aware that you're getting us both killed?"

"By your own words, I'm rash. Thought you'd have noticed it by now."

He chuckled darkly.

"Besides", I added, my tone softening, "life would be too boring if you were not 'round."

"Try to walk by yourself as much as you can. I'm too petite to put up with your weight."

"I know."

"But we'll cross that field even if I'd have to carry you."

"Wouldn't that be a sight."

"Now, shut up and let's get going. There's no time to lose."

Side by side they walked down the hill. She was very aware of Sesshoumaru next to her, ready to support him the moment he needed her help. The woman's gaze was glued to the battlefield before her. It seemed as if they were nearing in a slow motion, walking towards their doom with painfully slow pace...

'_You've seen too many bad movies, girl. Now is not a right time to turn back. You finish what you started. You can make it and you know it.'_

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and prayed that she was right.

Then Kagome's gaze briefly brushed over Hidaka's form, how he still trudged forward not minding the various injuries. Calmness settled over her as well. After all, she was not doing this for herself. She was doing this for him. That was why she was not going to back down.

And then they stopped. They stood there for awhile side by side, gazing at the field of destruction ahead.

The calm before the storm.

"Let's do this", Kagome stated firmly.

"Yeah."

They broke into a run.

* * *

The mouths of the North-Korean soldiers fell agape.

"What the fuck is that", the commander demanded to know. But no one answered for him. His dark eyes under his frown followed the two forms, a man and a woman, breaking through from the side and now proceeding through the battlefield and the crossfire.

"They're friggin' insane", the commanding officer muttered to himself. Then he shrugged. If two crazy people wanted to take a walk through a raging battlefield who was he to stop them?

"Don't mind those freaks, soldiers! Keep firing!"

"But sir, what if those two are civilians?"

"Too bad for them then, they ought to have common sense not to prance on the firing line. Just shoot!"

The South-Korean soldiers could but stare.

* * *

"Lieutenant, what do we do? There are civilians in the way!"

The lieutenant cussed under his breath, grabbing the binoculars.

"You're wrong, private, they are no civilians. They are Japanese soldiers. Must be those special troops we were warned about."

"But sir, they're on the firing line. What should we do?"

'They must be bloody insane, pulling a stunt like that', the lieutenant thought by himself. 'If these are the pride of Japanese military, I don't want to see how out of their minds the rest of them are.'

The lieutenant shook his head.

"They probably have a helluva good reason for crossing through this battlefield," 'Or at least I seriously hope so', he added in his thoughts, " and Japan is neutral in this war. Try to avoid shooting them the best you can."

"Sir yes sir!"

* * *

The two helicopters loomed in the air above the field of battle.

"What the hell's going down there", Koraichi Hiten, the number one pilot of SAF troops wondered out loud.

"Hey look! Two guys are running through crossfire!"

Hiten glanced at the two little spots his vice-pilot Manten had informed about through the speaker.

"Bloody hell. Those guys have to be out of their damn minds!" Hiten blurted out.

"The other one seems to have silver hair", Manten wondered out loud.

Hiten inhaled sharply.

"Don't tell me that the colonel... Shit!"

"I hope we aren't too late", Manten muttered darkly. He turned to see the woman and her two companions sitting in the back of the helicopter he was piloting.

"Kikyo-san, you and your subordinates better prepare yourselves. I have the feeling you truly have some work to do."

"That's why we are here", Kikyo calmly replied, glancing out of the window at the battle raging in the valley.

* * *

Surely I had been through exercises where the cadets were suppose to go through an obstacle course as fast as possible as a team. It was hard enough to survive just that, but the trainers were also ever so kind that they kept firing at us the whole time we tried to complete the course. Of course they had been rubber bullets, though.

Now I finally realised again fully the point of that exercise. I couldn't but hope that this situation here would be nothing but an exercise as well.

Even though I knew that this time it all was for real.

'Just keep going. Don't mind the gunshots thundering over you. Don't look at the soldiers in rows on the edge of your vision. Keep going. Get a hit and die. Keep going..'

I glanced at colonel Hidaka. He was panting, leaning heavily on the cane I had found for him and limping onward as fast as he could. I was amazed by his speed, even when injured.

But I was more amazed at the fact that we had not been hit yet. Still I didn't want to let that bubbling hope inside me take a hold on me for if that hope was to let me down I knew I wouldn't be able to take it. Although, if that hope _did_ fail me and I'd get shot, I most probably wouldn't end up dead anyway, so it really did not matter... However, there was still a long way to go.

The length of the valley was approximately two and half kilometres, four fifths of that length engaged in battle. Even though the way was only two kilometres long it could as well have been two hundred kilometres for us. Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion, each step was painfully slow and all the time I felt the pounding of my heart all the way in my head, the cold palm of fear clenching my heart so tightly it ached. I began to wonder whether I really had lost my mind.

"You ought to have left me there", he muttered to me under the unpleasant sounds of firing machine guns and distant yells and shouts and yelps. The sounds of bullets hitting the soft flesh.

"How can you so well forget your own teachings, Sesshoumaru? Teamwork", I replied softly. "We're a team and you won't let a team mate behind. Unless you want your colonel to beat you up because of that."

"What if the colonel will dislike risking your own life for an already gravely wounded team mate, who has decided to be left behind by himself?"

"Then the colonel doesn't fully grasp his own ideals. Risking your life for your team mate – injured or not – is what team work's about. Supporting and helping each other through bad times. And if this is not a bad time... then I don't know what is."

Hidaka let out a dry chuckle.

"You are too damn smart for your own good."

"Pwned."

He raised his eyebrow.

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"Just a slang-word..", I replied, grinning widely to myself.

In the distance we saw a helicopter land onto the shore.

"We gotta pick up the pace", I breathed out. "Can you do it?"

"Worry about yourself, Kagome. I'm just fine.."

I eyed at him sceptically but let it drop. My steps became hastier and his limping onward became faster.

Half of it was yet to go...

I prayed in my mind that they would wait for us.

* * *

Kikyo jumped down, her feet firmly planting onto the sandy ground of the shore. Her white doctor's coat fluttered behind her due the blades of the helicopter that still were slicing the air. About hundred yards away a group of soldiers were steadily nearing them.

"Go to meet them. Try to register all the injuries so that you can inform me of them immediately when you arrive here."

"Yes ma'am", the two young medics replied, hurrying off.

She waited.

Finally the SAF cadets reached the whore on which she was waiting with the helicopter and its pilots.

"One broken leg, one compound fracture. Six cadets who have been hit by a bullet and I heard that colonel Hidaka would be in the worst condition", the young man reported while his partner was already tending the injured ones.

"Well, where the colonel is then?"

"He was left behind."

"What?" Kikyo snapped. They had left Hidaka behind?

"Captain Minakawa said that he's not quite sure 'bout colonel's current situation for one cadet turned back after refusing to leave him behind to die."

"Who", Kikyo demanded. She already had a dreadful hunch and craved to be proven wrong.

Unluckily she wasn't.

"The girl. Higurashi."

Kikyo's heart missed a beat. She knew her cousin and was very aware that she had always been rash. Easily forgetting to think about herself when thinking the others so much.

"Look, they're over there", someone shouted.

Everybody turned to see to which direction the shouter was pointing. Faces paled, jaws dropped, sharp inhales made hissing sounds.

No one could utter a word as they watched two of their companions struggling their way through the raging battlefield.

* * *

It felt as if the sky would be falling down on us. The artillery units had joined the play, making grenades rain onto the field. Luckily though the grenades didn't explode anywhere too near us. Our pace had slowed down. Warily I looked at the thicket made of barbed wire which was placed conveniently between the battlefield and the shore. Between us and our rescue. Unmoving forms of blown up tanks loomed ahead, their charred skeletons casting deep shadows which engulfed us.

"Once we'll get to the cover of those tanks we'll take a little break", I decided when I looked at Hidaka once again. He was panting heavily; his limping seemed to require more and more effort from him. After few more yards we made it heavily sank down onto ground and for awhile just lay there, panting.

My breathing was shallow. I was not that much exhausted as of yet, the reason for my current shape was the terror taking a hold of me, the horrifying dread that made my heart beat quicker in my chest. It required more and more from me to find the courage to take the next step. By my side colonel Hidaka was gulping for air, a few beads of sweat glistening on his forehead. His eyes were closed, the blood slowly seeping through the bandages wrapped around his abdomen.

And then a grenade exploded only twenty-five or so yards away.

His eyes shot open and he looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"We better move on."

"Yeah", I gulped and got up. I offered him my hand and he accepted it, heaving himself up, immediately leaning heavily onto the cane.

We continued to proceed through the battlefield.

We kept on going as fast as we could and yet it felt we could have not proceeded slower. Hidaka was now openly panting, his injuries making it hard for him to breathe. I was very close by his side, worry for him flooding in my veins, ready to offer him my hand the moment he needed it. He was now heavily bleeding; the bullet-hole in his abdomen had never really had time to heal. Bullets whizzed everywhere in the air around us, grenades exploding every now and then. Shouts, curses, yelps and cries from the soldiers in the distant reached our ears as faint as the whispers of the ghosts. My eyes were defiantly glued to the form of a familiar helicopter on the shore; never did my gaze wander from there.

One step. Another one.

'Each step you take brings you closer to the safety.'

One step. Another one.

'Each step you take brings you closer to salvation.'

One step. Another one.

'Each step you take brings you closer to home.'

Slowly a smile began to form on my lips.

There was only half a kilometre to go. We were nearly there. I turned to triumphantly look at colonel Hidaka. However all that my eyes registered was how his cane abruptly snapped in two and how he fell to the ground with a muffled groan.

My widened eyes regarded his unmoving form lying on the ground next to my feet. And before I found the will to move it hit me.

* * *

Ayame let out an involuntary shriek as she saw how Hidaka's tall for heavily fell onto the ground. Her hand clenched the fabric of her uniform right over her heart in a tight fist. The said heart fluttered wildly in her chest.

'Get up!' she mentally shouted to Sesshoumaru. 'Goddamnit, Sesshoumaru, get up!'

He didn't get up and a few mere seconds later Ayame saw how Kagome suddenly jerked, her head and shoulders being sharply tossing back. The fall was slow and the dry dirt of the battlefield rose into the air when the woman's body landed on it on her back, forming a small dust cloud.

"Kagome!"

It was the medic woman who was crying the cadet's name, her beautiful pale face wearing an expression of an ultimate terror.

Ayame bit her lip, soon tasting the coppery flavour of her own blood. A forceful sob made her body tremble.

They all watched the two bodies lying unmoving on the ground.

'Get up!' Ayame screamed in her mind. 'Both of you, just get up...'

But nothing happened. Neither of them did not even twitch.

"We have to go", captain Minakawa braked out on a raspy voice.

"We can't leave them there!" Kikyo cried.

"Kikyo-san, they're dead. Cadet Higurashi got shot and colonel Hidaka probably died because of his grave injuries."

"But you can't just –"

"Retrieving their bodies would be too risky", the captain replied harshly. "I'm sorry", he added on a softer tone.

"But the colonel... Kagome.."

"All cadets get into the helicopters. NOW!"

After few more minutes they finally took off into the air.

* * *

I drew in a shaky breath. The heartbeat echoed in my ears, drowning all the other noises underneath. A moan escaped from my lips. My shoulder ached. I managed to open my eyes though the lids covering them felt awfully heavy.

I blinked a few times.

And then I remembered it all.

I jerked up and immediately grimaced at the hot stab of pain in my shoulder. My widened eyes brushed over colonel Hidaka's still unmoving form.

In an instant I was on my knees by his side.

"Sesshoumaru! Oh, Sesshoumaru are you alright?"

"My strength is waning", he managed to pant. "You should have done as I told you from the start. You should have left me there and saved yourself."

"Still the same song! Let it drop, Sesshoumaru. We're both going to make it out of here alive! Trust me. Now get up."  
"I can't."

Gathering up my strength I heaved him up. With a soft thud he landed onto my back and my knees nearly gave in under his weight. My teeth sank into my lower lip. Drawing out a few crimson drops of blood. My injured shoulder throbbed so painfully that for awhile I thought it'd just fall off. I carefully wrapped my arm around Sesshoumaru, supporting him the best I could.

And then a grenade fell, blowing up the thicket of barbed wire between us and the shore. How kind of Korean's to get rid of it for us, it'd have been hopeless to try to carry Sesshoumaru through that fence of barbed wire.

I felt the desperation looming like a shadow behind my back. We had to get to the shore. We had to get out of here. But what use was it anymore? The helicopter was gone, we would not get home, we would die here, in the middle of a war we were no part of...

Tears and drops of sweat stung in my eyes and blurred my sight as I blindly stumbled forward, half carrying, half dragging colonel Hidaka with me. I heard the gunshots and shouts and explosions, I saw the sea glittering in the distance, I smelled the bitter gunpowder, I tasted my own blood and felt the warmth of Sesshoumaru's skin next to mine. My all senses were heightened but there was only death and blood everywhere.

I felt so small between the two fronts, I felt so small on that field of war, and I felt so small under the weight of Hidaka's body... I felt so helpless as I staggered onward the best I could.

* * *

Minakawa sat down onto his seat sighing heavily. He covered his eyes with his large hand. Funny. His hand was shaking. Biting his lip he let the hand fall limply to his lap.

Nothing had gone the way it should have.

He looked down at the battlefield, for one more time.

Sudden movement caught his eye.

Silver haired figure moving on a slow pace.

His heart missed a beat.

He was alive.

"Koraichi, get us back down this minute", Minakawa bellowed, jumping up from his seat.

"I'm sorry sir, but that'd be too dangerous, now please sit –"

The pistol clicked as Minakawa put off the safety.

"I said get us back down this minute."

Hiten glanced the pistol pointed at his way. Everyone in the helicopter was too shocked to do anything.

"As you command, sir", Hiten gulped and got ready to land.

* * *

The sand under my feet was traitorous. I felt as if it would have swallowed me and pulled me into its depths. I sank lower and lower.. daylight waned... All became dark.

Next time when I realised anything I was laying there, sand in my hair a heavy weight on top of my body. With wide eyes I watched how a huge shadow was coming down from heaven.

The weight that had been pressuring me was now gone. Strong arms picked me up. I was too exhausted to open my eyes. Was this how it felt when you die? Strong arms picking you up, carrying you safely to the heaven above...

It hurt. Someone was pressing the sore spot on my shoulder. Funny. If I were dead I should no longer feel pain... right?

Whispered voices, all around me. Angels or demons? Long lost souls haunting me? Had I now become one of them as well?

"She's coming to."

"Is she all right?"  
"Exhausted. Hit by a bullet. She'll recover."

"I am so glad..."

My lids were heavy, heavier than they had ever been before but I managed to open my eyes.

I saw faces, blurry at first. Then, slowly, little by little the features on the faces sharpened. I began to recognise them, they were familiar faces. The expressions on those faces were happy and delighted, relieved and joyful.

"I can't believe you did it", Shippo said softly. The red-haired young man was sitting by my side.

"Teamwork was the key-word, ne?" I replied with a weary smile.

"Shippo, she's exhausted. Let her rest."

I turned heavily my head and saw Miroku's smiling face.

"Where's Sesshoumaru", I asked, closing my eyes again.

"Kikyo-san is looking after him. Don't worry about colonel Hidaka now, Kagome. Rest."

Gladly I fell back to the warm darkness. I felt content, relieved and so exhausted. Distantly I heard Bankotsu's voice.

"I'm proud of you, Kags. Everything's all right now. We're going home."

I let out a small sigh and let the darkness fall over me.

'Home', was the last thought in my mind before I fell into a heavy slumber, and that thought was filled with warm love.

* * *

**Chie: **There will be an epilogue which wraps this fic up pretty nicely. I'll post it in a few weeks.

Thank you. –bows-


	10. Epilogue: Tables turned

**Chie:** Only one thing before we'll start with the epilogue. The song I hid in the last chapter was "October" by Evanescence as _The Squabbit _cleverly found out. So here's your price, Squa-chan! –gives Squabbit a cookie and hugs tightly-

Now, enjoy the last moments of SAF! –bows-

Epilogue – Tables turned

SAF-troops undergoing big changes

_Published in the issue 28 of the Aera-magazine_

Colonel Hidaka Sesshoumaru has yesterday resigned from his position. Colonel Hidaka worked as the high commander as well as the leading trainer of SAF (Special Attack Force) which is the legendary special-squad who only accepts the best of the best. He remained in his position of a trainer for whole ten years and was praised in his work. Colonel Hidaka was even called "the young genius". This is why his sudden resignation is so unfortunate for the SAF-troops. Such a man as colonel Hidaka is hard to replace.

SAF-troops will now fall into the command of captain Minakawa Suikotsu, at least for a time being. Therefore the position of an assisting trainer as well as the second-in-command officer has now opened. However, Minakawa says he has already asked someone to take up this honoured position but refused to tell the presentee's name.

Colonel Hidaka was heavily injured on the SAF-troops' legendary Korea-mission.

"He took the bullets for us", captain Minakawa confessed as we asked a statement from him.

In fact colonel didn't only take bullets, he also lost his left arm while saving one cadet's life.

"He's a great man", Minakawa says with a smile. "We'll miss him."

Yamada Totosai, Minister of Defence, handed out a first class medal of honour to colonel Hidaka last Friday. The minister told that Hidaka earned the medal because of his brave will to protect his trainees.

Another news concerning the legendary SAF-troops is that for the first time in the history a woman has successfully completed SAF-training, which is proclaimed to be the hardest military-training available in whole Japan. Higurashi Kagome was promoted lieutenant because of the great loyalty and bravery she displayed during the Korea-crisis (For a full reportage about the Korea-crisis, please see issues 25 and 26). She also received a second-class medal of honour from the Minister of Defence.

"I don't deny I didn't feel suspicious when I first heard about a woman coming into our troops. But lieutenant Higurashi turned out to be an excellent cadet. Now I surely will welcome with open arms any woman willing to come into our troops", tells captain Minakawa.

There has not yet been any official confirmation to colonel Hidaka's and lieutenant Higurashi's rumoured engagement, but we'll be waiting…

_By Onishi Yura_

* * *

Colonel Hidaka Sesshoumaru, the former trainer of the famous SAF-troops, was standing in front of a full-length-mirror. His upper body was bare as he was critically studying the stub that was the only thing remaining of his completely burned and later amputated left arm. His beautiful left arm, which now was forever gone...

And he had been left-handed too! Now he had to learn everything from the start, learn how to write with his right hand, heck, he even had to learn how to eat. How humiliating was that?! And besides, who would want a man with only one arm?

His mind reminded him at this point that there in fact was one semi-naked woman lying on his bed at the very moment. But because Sesshoumaru wanted to wallow in self-pity, he just ignored his mind's remarks.

The worst thing was the looks he received. He hated the pity, glimmering in the eye of beholder. It made him somehow feel low. He loathed the pity, therefore he did not want any of it. He hated to be pitied, hated to be looked down upon, hated to be seen as a disabled person. He didn't want to be thought as 'that one-armed man'. He didn't feel so sad for losing his arm, it made him feel irritate. Being one-armed was a kind of humiliation to him… it was a huge blow to his shield of pride he was so famous of. Because of losing his arm he had lost his job as well.

His mind made a comeback, reminding him that in fact it had been his own idea to resign and that everyone had begged him to stay saying that losing a limb wasn't such a big deal.

But because Sesshoumaru's mood already was nicely angsty and self-loathing, he once again ignored that little voice of reason. No matter how calm his mask was, under the surface he still had not accepted the losing of a limb. Everyone else were in the belief that having only one arm did not bother Sesshoumaru at all.

Nobody knew the truth. Nobody.

Save for the only one who was able to see through him.

"Sesshoumaru", that person called his name out softly.

He turned to look at her over his shoulder.

"It's already late. Quit brooding over your arm and come to bed."

'This Sesshoumaru does not brood', he objected in his thoughts but said nothing. He walked across the room and lay down onto the bed.

After a few moments of silence she spoke again.

"I decided to accept the job. I hate to be separated from you and Rin-chan, but on the other hand this is also something I really want to do."

"I'm not going to stop you", Sesshoumaru said quietly. "Besides you'll be taking over the assisting role. I'm certain that you'll be allowed to come home fairly often."

"But will you be okay with this, really? Staying at home looking after Rin-chan while I'm at work – "

"Kagome, don't worry about me, you know I can handle it."

"Yes, I know, but.."

"If this is something you want to do, who am I to stop you?"

"If anyone could stop me from doing what I want, that would be you, Sesshoumaru."

"Oh, I highly doubt that. You didn't listen to me even when I was your superior. I told you to go, and you decided to drag me through cross-fire."

She let out a little laugh, which twinkled merrily in the spacious room.

"Then, I'll let them know tomorrow."

"You do that."

Sesshoumaru reached to switch off the light on the side table and breathed out calmly in the surrounding darkness. His wife's warm body soon snuggled up close to him and smiling to himself in the dark he wrapped his arm around her small form.

* * *

The new cadets of SAF troops were standing in the middle of the training field, looking curiously around. They had been told to wait there for their trainer to arrive. There was a lot speculating going on about what kind of a trainer they would have. They were now in the elite group. It was certain that the person to train them would be extremely strict and demanding.

A few women soldiers were standing among them.

Someone snorted arrogantly that what would women be doing around here, these were the elite troops.

Another cadet then told him that a woman had actually already undergone the SAF-training and that she had showed extreme bravery and saved the life of her trainer.

The cadet only grunted, muttering something about the army which was becoming too soft nowadays.

* * *

"Hi mom!"

"Why hello sweetheart! Is Rin-chan at home yet?"

"No, Nee-san is still at school."

"I see. How was your day?"

Smiling to myself I listened as the five-year old boy told me everything about his day. Absentmindedly I rolled the pencil in my hand and leaned back on my seat.

"Oh, and daddy told me we're going to visit grandpa tomorrow!"

"That's right", I gave a little laugh. "Katsuo-san has invited us for a dinner. Uncle Inuyasha and Aunt Kikyo will be coming too."

"Waii! It'll be fun!"

I laughed again.

"Certainly."

"Mom?" his voice was suddenly all serious.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Daddy says he wants to talk to you."

"Alright. Bye. Be a good boy and see you tomorrow."

"Bye!"

And then his deep velvety voice took over.

"Good day, Kagome."

"Hello, Sesshoumaru."

My lips melted into a smile, into the same expression a girl always has when her love calls her.

"How has it been?"

"Everything's fine... Save that I miss you every second."

"I miss you too."

His voice no longer was cold or nonchalant. Now it was warm and expressive.

"Have the kids been good?"

"Better than ever."

"I'm glad."

"I heard the newbies are coming in today."

"Yeah, that's correct."

"I suppose you should go then."

"Yes... I should."

"Good luck."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me."

".. I'll see you tomorrow, then. Bye, I love you."

"I'll see you, Goodbye."

I hung up and set the cell phone onto my desk. I should have gone already a while ago, they were waiting. I just had wanted to hear his voice before I went.

* * *

The murmur among the new cadets suddenly ended. Jaws dropped and faces paled.

This was not what they had been expecting. Not at all.

Their trainer turned out to be a pretty young woman with long jet-black hair and blue eyes. She was awfully short as well.

What startled them the most, however, was the kind smile she had on her face.

"All cadets, attention!"

Her voice was sweet too.

However, they all obeyed like good little cadets should.

"Welcome the SAF troops. I am Lieutenant Hidaka Kagome and I am your assisting trainer as well as the second-in-command of the SAF-troops. Now before I'll give you into the good care of captain Minakawa Suikotsu I'd like to tell you a few words about a thing called team-work..."

**

* * *

**

THE END

**

* * *

Chie: Yes. That was the all of it.**

The title of this epilogue is a hint towards my next upcoming fanfic, surprisingly names "Tables turned" as well. WHAT A COINICIDENCE:O

Also, the person who guessed from the beginning that it'd all end up like this in the end, have a COOKIE! –Evil giggle- I really love how their roles got reversed. Waii ♥ Damn I'm a genius xD

However, sadly and for now, it's a good bye. I'll be back soon enough though, so no worries

THANK YOU for all of my readers, reviewers, raters and fans. ♥ Love you all! HUGS!

Chiera

Ps. I really hope you'll check out my fic Tables Turned when I get it up. Because I'm going to give my everything for that fic. –bows respectfully-

**The Dah:** My humble thanks as well. I'm sorry that sometimes my betaing takes so long, but what can you do? My life has gotten so hectic lately. L But all in all I'm happy how this fic went. Awfully cute and sugary at times, but still so very sad and angsty. Just the mixture I love. :P


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